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Taken

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Originally published in: Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #4
Publication date: August, 2013

Script: Ed Caruana
Art: Jack Lawrence
Colours: Jason Cardy
Colour assist: James Stayte
Letters: Alex Foot

“Taken”

Summary:

In the lair, the Turtles are pondering Spike and whether he’s happy with his life: sitting and chewing on a leaf all day.  Raphael decides to see what sort of lifestyle Spike would TRULY prefer and (after putting a tiny red bandana on the guy) takes him to the surface for some adventure.


Showing off for Spike, Mikey tries to recreate his Kick of the Pelican attack and fails.  In the distraction, Spike vanishes.  Leo points to a pair of Kraangdroids carrying something small in their arms.  Raph assumes the Kraang have kidnapped Spike for some nefarious purpose and gives chase.

The Kraangdroids board a helicopter and the Turtles manage to grab onto the landing gear just in time.  They climb inside and begin pummeling the two Kraangdroids.  Raph recovers a lockbox they were carrying while Mikey accidentally kicks the pilot from the chopper.  The Turtles bail just as the chopper crashes and explodes.


Raph opens the lockbox expecting to find Spike, but instead finds a vile of ooze.  Spike is nowhere to be found and Raph comes to the conclusion that he really WAS unsatisfied with his life amongst the TMNT and chose to leave forever.


Returning to the lair, Splinter informs them that Spike came home on his own accord, preferring to just chew on his leaf all day.  Raph is thrilled to have Spike back and gives him a hug.  As soon as his brothers begin to chide him for being a softy, Raph kicks them all in the face.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from “Daydream”.  The story continues in Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #5.

*The “Spike, chew your leaf…” gag was taken from the episode “Turtle Temper”.

*Mikey’s Kick of the Pelican occurred in the other story published alongside this one in Nickelodeon TMNT #4, “Daydream”.


Review:

Definitely the better of the two short strips published in Nickelodeon TMNT #4, at least when it comes to the script.  Caruana’s pretty darn good at this and usually the best stories are the ones written exclusively by him without assistance.

Good ole Spike.  Always there.  Always chewing.  He’s another one of those little touches from the Nick cartoon that I really liked, right up there with Leo and his whole “Space Heroes” thing.  It adds a bit to Raph, giving him a pet/buddy that he can confide in or show off his softer side to.  Rather than take away from Raph’s “lone wolf badass” gimmick, it instead offers him a little more depth so he can be more than just the one-note trope.

Or maybe Spike’s just a turtle that sits around chewing leaves all day.  I dunno.

Knowing the spoilers about season 2 of Nick’s TMNT cartoon, I find this Spike story is extra interesting.  He was never the focus of any plots in the first season of the cartoon, being more or less a prop, so this little short tale about him kind of adds to what will become of his “character” in season 2.  I’m sure we all know it; press releases spoiled it months ago.  But just in case you’ve been living under a rock, I won’t bring it up.

Anyhow, fun little tale with the tight writing from Caruana I’ve really come to dig (even Raph showing Spike how to do a kick in the first panel of the story ties back into the concluding gag).


Grade: B (as in, “But the tiny red bandana was the clincher”.)

Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #5

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Publication date: September, 2013

Script: Ed Caruana
Art: Bob Molesworth
Colours: Jason Cardy
Colour assist: James Stayte
Letters: Alex Foot

“Slug”

Summary:

Outside a building, a thug with a massive sledgehammer reviews his map, decides he’s arrived at the bank and prepares to make his big entrance.  Smashing through the wall with his hammer, the thug demands the cashiers hand over all their money.  Unfortunately, he’s not at the bank; he’s at the 24/7 noodle shop.  Undeterred, the thug orders Mr. Murakami to hand over all his noodles.  Leaving with the ill-gotten pasta, he tosses behind his calling card: a slug (because his name is Slug).


Elsewhere, the Turtles and the Kraang are fighting it out in a warehouse.  Turns out the warehouse is where the Kraang store a good portion of their mutagen, which also means there are a LOT of Kraangdroids guarding the facility.

Slug, meanwhile, figures he’s finally found the bank and tears through the wall with his hammer.  He’s actually at a Laundromat.  Still undeterred, he demands the patrons surrender their laundry.

Back at the warehouse, the Turtles are nearly overwhelmed by the number of Kraangdroids laying siege to them.  Suddenly, the wall comes down and Slug (carrying a sack of noodles and a sack of laundry) comes charging in.  This time he’s finally lost his cool about missing the bank AGAIN and demands satisfaction.  Seeing the Turtles, he figures he’ll take his frustrations out on them and begins swinging his sledgehammer wildly in their direction.


Leo realizes they can use Slug’s destructive rage to their advantage.  The Turtles each egg him on, drawing his swinging their way.  In no time flat, Slug inadvertently wipes out all the Kraangdroids.  He finally turns his anger directly to the Turtles, who don’t see him as much of a threat.  Slug then hurls his sledgehammer at them.  They dodge, but the hammer knocks a crate down on top of them.  The crate shatters and several canisters of mutagen come tumbling out.  Slug collects his booty and bids the Turtles farewell, pegging them each in the face with one of his slugs.

Unfortunately for Slug, he fails to see the sack of laundry he left on the floor and trips over it.  He covers himself in ooze and mutates into a giant slug-man.  Swearing vengeance against the Turtles for turning him into a freak, he charges.  


Half an hour later, he’s no closer to reaching them, so the Turtles decide to just call it a night and go home.  On the way out, Mikey begins workshopping monster names for the new mutant.  Donatello suggests that since his name was “Slug” and he was mutated into a slug, then perhaps they should just call him “Slug”.  Mikey tells Don he just doesn’t understand science.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #4.  The story continues in Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #6.

*Mr. Murakami and his noodle shop 24/7 first appeared in the episode “Never Say Xever”.


Review:

This was a pretty funny strip featuring a good twist at the end.  Usually as these things go (in the cartoon anyway), the villain inadvertently comes into contact with mutagen, turns into a monster in the final minutes and there’s a big battle.  This story does all the setup, but skips the whole final battle thing.  Because a slug mutant is pretty useless, all things considered.

The flippancy with which people are turned into action figure-friendly mutants is probably my only substantial complaint about the Nick TMNT cartoon (and it only looks like it’s going to get worse with season 2).  So a comic that pokes fun at the formula is a welcomed smidgen of levity.  And since the Panini comics can’t resolve any storylines on their own, as they don’t want to contradict the cartoon, it might be a good idea to start introducing original villains and characters.  Sort of like ongoing “side stories” to the cartoon’s main narrative.  Hey, it would beat the Turtles fighting the Kraang for random junk like they’ve done I think 3 times so far in this series.

Anyhow, one of the better issues from Panini, so far.  The Panini comic is mostly preoccupied with humor and gag strips, and I do wonder how long that approach can go on before it becomes tiresome.  That being said, they’ve been doing a good job of it so far.


Grade: B+ (as in, “But if I were mutated into a creature that could no longer eat salt, I’d very quickly lose my will to live”.)

TMNT (2012) Season 1, Part 1 Review

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I'm going to keep up with both the 2012 (Nick) and 1987 (Fred Wolf) TMNT cartoon reviews concurrently, switching back and forth between them.

So here's my review of the first 3 episodes of Nickelodeon's TMNT cartoon.

These reviews were going to be at the site Mind of the Geek, but they changed their format and decided to move away from TV series reviews, so my Nick TMNT cartoon articles will be up at Adventures in Poor Taste.

I only did the first 3 episodes in this initial batch because I wound up having a LOT to say and by the time I hit 5 Word pages, I knew it was time to wrap things up.  Future reviews will be a little brisker and cover more episodes.


Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #6

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Publication date: October, 2013

Script: Ed Caruana
Art: Jack Lawrence
Colours: Jason Cardy
Colour assist: James Stayte
Letters: Alex Foot

“Podzilla”

Summary:

In Donatello’s workshop, Michelangelo proposes that he could officially test all of Don’s new gadgets.  Don, on the other hand, doesn’t want Mike anywhere near all his hard work, such as the Turtle Launcher or the Rocket Boots.  He permits Mikey to check out his other “invention”, however (which is just an ordinary fountain pen).

Suddenly, a TV news report comes on with grim tidings: A giant mechanical spider is rampaging across downtown New York.  The pilot of the robot is none other than Baxter Stockman, wrecking havoc in an upgrade of his old StockmanPod (which Mikey dubs “Podzilla”).  The Turtles immediately head out to stop him.


Downtown, the Turtles confront Baxter and Podzilla on the roof of a building.  Raph, Leo and Don all try to rush Podzilla, but the behemoth swats them aside with ease.  Mikey has a plan, though: He’ll use Donnie’s latest invention to defeat the robot.  Of course, it’s still just a fountain pen and Mikey gets smacked.

Baxter is having so much fun, he begins monologuing his glorious scheme to the beaten Turtles.  Of course, from inside the cockpit of Podzilla, no one can understand a word he says.  To make sure they can hear his exposition, Baxter rolls down the window to the cockpit… leaving himself wide open to a water balloon from Mikey.  Furious, Baxter rolls the window back up.


The distraction allows the Turtles time to each wrap one of their grappling lines around one of Podzilla’s legs.  Leo hopes this will be able to knock the robot off balance.  Unfortunately, they only have four grappling lines to Podzilla’s eight legs and the robot spider sends them flying with a quick twirl.  It then seizes them all in its clutch and holds them up to the cockpit window.  The Turtles still can’t understand Baxter, so he rolls the window down again.  Mikey uses this opportunity to hit Baxter with Donnie’s “invention” (the fountain pen).  He squirts ink over Baxter’s glasses, blinding him.  In his panic, Baxter drops the Turtles and stumbles over the edge of the roof.  Podzilla plummets down to the street below and is destroyed (leaving Baxter in agonizing pain).


Back in Donnie’s workshop, Mikey is content knowing that he finally figured his brilliant new invention out.  Mikey then squirts himself in the eyes with the pen, stumbles back onto the Turtle Launcher, launches himself into the Rocket Boots, then rockets himself straight into the ceiling.  Donnie thanks him for testing all his gadgets at once.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #5.  The story continues in Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #7.

*The StockmanPod first appeared in the episode “I Think His Name is Baxter Stockman”.


Review:

It’s nice to get a break from the Kraang, who have eaten up a few too many stories in Panini’s TMNT magazine.  Baxter’s “scheme”, if you can call it that, isn’t exactly deep, but it certainly is befitting of the Nick interpretation of the character.  He’s a mechanical genius bent on using his brilliance to plot the pettiest of retributions, so seeing him mindlessly rampage through downtown New York in an attempt to draw out the Turtles didn’t seem particularly out of character.  This is a 13-page comic, too.  Not really enough room for a scheme more complex than “mindless destruction”, anyway.

I’ve said it before, but I continue to be impressed with the ease in which Caruana captures the voices and idiosyncrasies of all the characters.  His Baxter was right on the money, from the pathetic exposition to the self-destructive design flaws of his death machines.  The idea that he would have to roll down the window on his giant robot’s cockpit to yell threats at the Turtles felt like exactly the sort of thing Nickelodeon Baxter would fail to account for. 

I think the only stumbling block Caruana’s scripts suffer from is the need for a “punchline” ending.  He always sets them up somewhere near the start of the story so the finishing zinger doesn’t pop completely out of the blue, but some feel more gratuitous than others.  Mikey hilariously setting off a bunch of pratfalls in Donnie’s workshop is probably one of his lesser conclusions (if this were a cartoon, it would end with an iris-out on Mikey as he stupidly mugs for the camera; that sort of thing).

Solid art from Jack Lawrence, too.  Especially good comic timing on the scenes where Baxter rolls down his windows and changes his expression from menacing to “can you hear me, now?”


Grade: B (as in, “Baxter should have gone for the hovercraft that spits out Mousers, like in TMNT Arcade”.)

TMNT New Animated Adventures #4

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Publication date: October 23, 2013

Story: Erik Burnham
Art: Dario Brizuela
Colors: Heather Breckel
Letters: Shawn Lee
Edits: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

Down in the lair, the Turtles are training with a “king of the mountain” scenario… Raphael being “king”.  Leo makes it to the top of the pile of crates and Raph blindly attacks him.  Leo casually disarms his brother and scolds him for being too aggressive.  Splinter, in turn, scolds Leo for failing to see that Raph’s aggressiveness counterbalances his own cautiousness; that their differences are why they’re so effective as a team.

April then pops in to show them a photo she took while riding the bus near 110th.  It’s a Foot Soldier sneaking around.  The Turtles leave to investigate, though Splinter forces April to stay behind and continue with her reflex training.


The Turtles eventually find the Foot Soldier trying to break into a grocery store.  They confront him, only to find that he was setting up an ambush.  The Foot attack, but this time with a new tactic: blow darts.  Mikey deflects them with his shell, but Raph takes a dart to the shoulder and is immediately felled.  Leo calls a retreat and the Turtles vanish.

At Foot HQ, Dogpound informs the Shredder that the plan was a success.  By creating poison from the rare kyosuu fruit using an ancient Foot Clan recipe, they were able to debilitate one of the Turtles.  Shredder tells Dogpound that Splinter will no doubt recognize the ailment and send the Turtles to collect some kyosuu fruit to fashion a cure.  Knowing that the only place to get kyosuu is in Little Japan, he orders Dogpound to setup another ambush.

Back at the lair, the Turtles interrupt April’s training with their grim news.  Splinter recognizes Raph’s malady and tells them that the kyosuu poison will not kill him, but it will destroy his sense of balance and end his ninja career.  He tells his sons to procure a kyosuu fruit in Little Japan, and quickly, as Raph has begun hallucinating.

In Little Japan, the Turtles finally track down a grocery store that carries the fruit.  They snatch one, but find all exits blocked by Foot Soldiers.  They carefully look for alternate means of escape, but find nothing.  Leo then realizes that they’re being too cautious; that they need to start thinking like Raph.  Don suggests that they do something crazy and unpredictable.


Don comes plowing through the exit using Mikey’s shell like a shield to block all the blow darts, causing the Foot to waste their most precious ammo.  The threat of the darts out of the way, the Turtles make short work of the Foot Soldiers.  Suddenly, Dogpound comes dropping down and wrecks them all, snatching the kyosuu fruit from Leo in the scuffle.  He reminds them that even at four strong, they aren’t a match for his might.  Leo once again suggests that they all “do what Raph would do” and blindly charge the hulking brute.  Discretely, Leo plucks a dart from Mikey’s shell and sticks Dogpound with it as he kicks Mikey and Don.  Dogpound immediately begins hallucinating, seeing the Turtles as huge monsters.  Dogpound summarily faints and the Turtles regain their fruit.


Later, Splinter administers the cure to Raph in the form of a very foul-tasting soup (and none too soon, as Raph's hallucinations were getting freakier).  Raph recovers expediently, though he’s disappointed that his brothers were able to defeat Dogpound without his help.  Splinter assures him that although he was not with his brothers physically, he was with them in spirit.  He then informs the other Turtles and April that they are all to eat the nasty kyosuu soup to inoculate them from any further blow dart attacks.  The Turtles promptly “do what Raph would do” and run away screaming.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #3.  The story continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #5.

*In Japanese, “kyosuu” (虚数) is a mathematical term meaning “imaginary (number)”, no doubt poking fun at the fact that the kyosuu is an imaginary fruit.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Regular Cover by Brizuela, Cover RI by Adam Archer, and Cover RE Rhode Island ComicCon Exclusive by Ian Nichols.


Review:

Man, it seems like all I’ve been reviewing in the past few weeks have been media based on the new Nickelodeon TMNT cartoon.  The UK Nickelodeon TMNT comic from Panini, actual episodes of the show for Adventures in Poor Taste, and now a timely release of IDW’s TMNT New Animated Adventures...  I think I’m about ready for a break.

Anyhow, Erik Burnham takes over for Kenny Byerly on this issue.  Burnham had previously written the TMNT New Animated Adventures Free Comic Book Day 2013 story and proven that he has a good handle on these incarnations of the familiar characters.  So needless to say, you won’t miss a beat in the changeover from Byerly to Burnham.

Like all the issues of New Animated Adventures thus far, this is a solid done-in-one with a good flow to the story and the conflict.  The lesson is spelled out, but not to the point of talking down the readers.  At the grocery store, when the Turtles have to brainstorm “what would Raph do”, they don’t just stupidly charge the Foot Soldiers in a blind rage.  They actually put into practice Splinter’s true lesson about pooling their individual (if disparate) talents and produce brute force with a glimmer of strategy to it (using Mikey’s shell to block the darts while aggressively charging).  I think a lesser writer would have had them all idiotically belly-flopping into combat, which would have been missing the point, so good on that.

Less apparent, though, is Mikey’s more... substantial contribution to the outcome.  It’s a bit reminiscent of TMNT New Animated Adventures #2; a point is made to showcase what each Turtle individually brings to the table to achieve the resolution (Leo’s cautiousness, Raph’s aggressiveness, Don’s intelligence), but Mikey ends up empty handed.  I’m left wondering if even the writers are hard up to think of a single positive quality Mikey has to offer other than, well, “human shield”.

Don’t worry, Mikey.  Your time will a come.

A quick inquiry, because I’m honestly not sure of the answer, myself: Does Shredder address Dogpound as “Dogpound” in the TV show?  I ask because he addresses him as such in this issue, and I always thought Shredder called him by his real name (Bradford) and “Dogpound” was just what the Turtles called him.  How would Shredder even know about that derogatory nickname, anyway?  Just curious if anyone can correct or confirm me on that.


Grade: B (as in, “But as much as I like Brizuela’s art, the only thing conspicuously missing from the ‘Alice in Wonderland’ hallucination was a top hat and monocle for Spike”.)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #10

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Publication date: April, 2005

Story: Steven Murphy
Art: D’Israeli
Frontispiece: William Potter
Creature design: Peter Laird
Letters: Eric Talbot
Letters page art: Steph Dumais
Cover: D’Israeli and Eric Talbot

“Kaddish”

Summary:

Frontispiece: On an alien planet, Donatello (wearing a space suit) is surrounded by a gaggle of weird creatures.  He recalls one of the first books he ever read, “Strange Creatures from Time and Space” by John Keel, and how it inspired him to look beyond established facts and consider more bizarre possibilities.  And after encountering the likes of Triceratons, Utroms, fish-people and giant alien insects, he’s glad he made that decision.  In fact, it reminds him of a story…

In a Hassidic Jewish neighborhood, in the dead of night, several pharmacies and grocery stores are broken into.  The police say they can’t find any clues and disregard the case with apathy.  The local Jews, however, decide to form a mob and track down the thief.  They eventually stumble upon Donatello as he rummages through the dumpsters outside a scrap yard.  Mistaking him for the thief, they attack.  Not wanting to hurt them, Don ends up taking a few lumps before escaping.


Meanwhile, a lumbering figure trudges to the nearby suburbs where it enters a home.  The figure brings medicine and fruit to the bedroom of a small boy named Ben.

Down in the lair, Don does some research and learns that these thefts have been plaguing the Jewish community for some time.  He decides to investigate after dark.

Don checks out the shops broken into and the only clue he can find is dried clay.  He hears an alarm go off and hurries to the source.  He finds a trail of fresh clay and follows it to a blind alley, where it ends at a small hole in the wall.  A mob is formed and they begin chasing Don, again mistaking him for the thief.  Don scales the wall and picks the trial back up, leading him to the suburbs.


Don is suddenly attacked by a huge Golem, upset that it’s being followed.  Don tries to fight the Golem, but the creature is made of clay, so all his blows with his staff amount to nothing.  As the Golem throws Don around, the mob catches up and discovers they were after the wrong guy.  The Golem eventually discards Don and enters back into the house where it has been staying.

Don follows and finds the Golem in a child’s bedroom, giving medicine and food to the corpse of a young boy.  The Golem explains that its creator, David, brought it to life with the instructions to continue Ben’s care after he’s passed away.  Don explains to the Golem that Ben is dead, but the Golem does not know what “death” is.  Don tells him that death is when memory ends and who we are ceases to be.  The Golem becomes very frightened, worried that now that it no longer has a purpose, it will soon die.


The mob then rushes into the bedroom and the ringleader says that the Golem is an affront to God and must die.  Terrified, the Golem jumps through the window and absorbs the mud in the front yard, growing to titanic size.  Don can’t fight something so big, but the leader of the mob tells him all he has to do is erase the first letter of the word on the Golem’s forehead (the “aleph”).  Don erases the first letter of the aleph with a swipe from his bow, changing the Hebrew phrase from “truth” to “death”.  The Golem shrinks and becomes inert.

Epilogue: Down in the lair, in his lab, Don has gathered the remains of the Golem as well as the laptop of David Chudnovsky.  He learns that David was a mathematician obsessed with the concept of pi.  Knowing that pi goes on forever, David felt it was the mathematical way of understanding God and eternity.  In his journal, David explains that in Pargue, in 1580, Rabbi Judah Loew Ben Bezalel created a Golem to protect his neighborhood.  The Golem was eventually killed and locked in the attic of the synagogue.  Then, in 1942, Hitler ordered the synagogue to be inspected, but feared the attic and ordered no one to go in there.  This clue led David to the remains of the Golem.  Then, using his knowledge of mathematics and science, he revived the Golem to care for his invalid son, Ben.  David was dying from an incurable disease (the same disease he’d passed down to his son) and needed someone to care for his child after he departed.

Hearing David’s voice in the recording, the Golem awakens and rises from the table.  Donatello is shocked, as the aleph on his forehead still reads “death” in Hebrew.  The Golem explains that it was never dead; it just thought it was dead and went still.  The Golem then wipes a layer away from its forehead, revealing that behind the aleph is the symbol for pi.  Don asks what the Golem will do with its eternal life.  The Golem says that it will watch over the Jewish neighborhood, but more importantly, it will remember everything.  Forever.


Turtle Tips:

*This story takes place in the “Mirage Volume 3” era.

*The Golem will appear again in TMNT (Vol. 4) #11.

*As explained in the opening editorial, a “kaddish” is a Jewish prayer said after a family member has died.

*This issue also featured the bonus story, “The Question” by Murphy, Lawson and Talbot, and a bonus character study of Donatello by D’Israeli.


Review:

For the record, I’ve read “The Mothman Prophecies”.  John Keel was a certified lunatic.  Donatello should probably use more discretion when selecting his idols.

Anyway, this was a pretty touching story and definitely one of Murphy’s better contributions to the second volume of Tales of the TMNT.  The reveal that Ben has been dead for months as the Golem has continued to care for him was more moving than horrific.  I think a lesser creative pair would have elected to focus on the gore and nastiness of that scene, but Murphy and D’Israeli understood that the impact of that sequence was meant to be the emotional weight, so Ben’s decayed body is seen in only two panels, either at a distance or partially obscured.  It was tasteful rather than gratuitous and made the moment much stronger.

The story in general just flows very well and it’s one of Murphy’s tighter scripts.  I complain about him a lot, because when Murphy writes a bad story, it is a BAD story, but when he hits the marks he produces some great one-shots.  I think “Kaddish” benefits from having no ulterior motives.  Usually the worst of Murphy’s output are the stories where he’s trying to use the Turtles to make some sort of political or social or environmental statement on his behalf and the storytelling ends up taking a backseat to his personal agenda.  But even though “Kaddish” is steeped in Jewish mythology, those elements are used to flesh out the story, not as some springboard for Murphy’s latest outrage.

The Golem doesn’t have much of a personality, but being the shadowy “monster” in a one-shot story, it could only get so much time to develop.  But you can still infer enough from the Golem by its actions and limited dialogue to understand it has a good heart and is capable of all the emotions and faults humans are, from violence to fear.  It only makes one cameo appearance after this issue (actually, it made its cameo before this issue was published; this issue was done to explain its deal retroactively), but I think it could have made for a decent recurring ally.  As it is, the Golem joins the ranks of a dozen other fascinating characters introduced in Tales Vol. 2 who are summarily never heard from again.

D’Israeli drafts some great pages, illustrating a superb sense of lineweight, perspective, motion and “cinematography”.  I haven’t read any of his 2000AD stuff (because I’ve never read 2000AD), but he does good work.  One of my favorite details was that Don retains his swollen cheek and eye through the duration of the story (after getting beaten up near the start).  It makes him look lopsided and fugly, but it’s refreshing to see uncharismatic battle damage linger in a comic book.

There really isn’t much to gripe about in “Kaddish”.  Some of the Jews in the mob talk like ethnic stereotypes (I couldn’t help but read them with Jackie Mason’s voice), but I’d like to think that was intentional, as it offers a bit of levity to what’s otherwise a pretty grim story.  Don’s singing of a song I’ve never heard of goes on for way too long.  Reading lyrics are great when you’re familiar with the source, but if you don’t know the tune it really is an awkward chore that takes you out of the story flow.  And Don sings a LOT of the lyrics.


Grade: A (as in, “At first I thought this issue was going to guest star ZZ Top”.)

Awesome Turtle Picture #26

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I've posted it before, but not as an Awesome Turtle Picture, so I'm postin' it again.
 
I don't think anything better sums up the Image Comics TMNT Volume 3 series than this advertisement, published in Bodycount #2 (April, 1996).

 

Mocking elements related to the cartoon series, promising that this series is "grown up", mild swearing, incentive to buy the comic as a collectable because it will most assuredly sell out quickly, Erik Larsen artwork...

All this thing needs is a can of Surge and a cross-promotion with the X Games and it'll be Terminally '90s.

FUCK YOU, CARTOONS!  FUCK YOU, PIZZA!  FUCK YOU, EVERYTHING!  THE TURTLES HAVE GONE EXTREEEEEEEEEEME!

TMNT Villains Micro-Series #7: Bebop & Rocksteady

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Publication date: October 30, 2013

Story: Ben Bates and Dustin Weaver
Script: Dustin Weaver
Art: Ben Bates
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

Two gang members, Bebop and Rocksteady, are currently taking a pounding from their leader.  The hood drums them out and tells them never to show their faces again.  Bebop and Rocksteady return to their rattrap apartment to sulk, having been kicked out of every gang in New York for screwing up even the simplest jobs.  They’re sick of being small timers and want to gain power and notoriety, so they hit up the bars, looking for work.

At one bar, a mouthy shlub tells them he works for the guys who work for the guys who work for the Foot Clan, the most powerful gang in New York, owned and operated by the Shredder.  Bebop and Rocksteady are immediately enamored with the idea of the Foot Clan and the Shredder and agree to take a few jobs. 

They eventually work their way up from the wannabes to the lowest ranks of the Foot Clan, mostly by beating and killing people with brute force.  After meeting Alopex, they decide they want to become mutants, too.  Eventually, they earn the chance to participate in a life-or-death brawl set up by Karai: Winner gets to be a mutant.  They are victorious and shortly afterward are mutated into a "rhino-saurus" and a warthog.


After two weeks of training, Karai orders Bebop and Rocksteady to join her on a routine “peacekeeping” mission to visit Xiang Fei Tong, leader of the Triad sect the Ghost Boys.  Karai wants to intimidate Tong and keep the Ghost Boys in line.  However, she ONLY wants to intimidate and orders Bebop and Rocksteady to just stand still and do nothing.  On the ride down to Chinatown, Bebop and Rocksteady get in a lengthy conversation about how cool the Shredder must be, much to the annoyance of the Foot Soldier sitting across from them.

At the palatial HQ of the Ghost Boys, Karai sits down for a talk with Tong while Bebop and Rocksteady stand outside with the Ghost Boysecurity team.  Bebop decides to play the old “what’s that on your shirt?”/nose-flick gag on a Ghost Boy, and not knowing his own strength, breaks the thug’s nose.  This escalates into a firefight.  Tong, hearing this, accuses Karai and the Foot of trying to eliminate her gang and declares war.


Karai tries to defuse the situation, but Bebop and Rocksteady only make things worse by going after Tong (who is inhumanly fast).  As Tong escapes into the innards of the building, Rocksteady gets the bright idea to barrel through the many walls as a shortcut.  He does so, but only ends up bumping into Bebop and the two imbeciles let Tong make it out the front door.  Police, responding to the racket, try to arrest Tong, only for the entire building to collapse (because of all the walls Rocksteady knocked down).  Bebop and Rocksteady panic and plow through the cop cars in a mad rush to escape.

At a train yard, they proceed to evaluate their performance.  They’re pretty sure Karai died when the building collapsed and see themselves getting kicked out of the Foot Clan for their incompetence.  Rocksteady suggests that since Karai is dead, they return to Foot HQ and just say that she deserted.  Karai isn’tdead, however, and has overheard the entire mutinous conversation.  She orders her Foot Soldiers to execute Bebop and Rocksteady.  A massive brawl ensues and the mutants proceed to kill every last Foot Soldier in a blind fury.


With that out of the way, rather than attack Karai, they ask her to give them one more chance.  They really like the Foot Clan and really respect the Shredder (though they’ve never met him) and don’t want to be kicked out.  Karai is shocked to seesuch loyalty, especially after she tried to have them killed.  She quickly disables Rocksteady and holds a sword to the roof of his mouth.  She tells the mutants that they may remain with the Foot, if only as blunt instruments, but they must remember that they belong to the Clan.  The mutants happily agree and Karai sheathes her sword.  They apologize for screwing things up, but Karai informs him that the Ghost Boys were planning a coup and the Foot were going to destroy their organization eventually, anyway.  Rocksteady wonders if the Shredder is as mean as Karai, but Bebop assures him that the Shredder has to be a pretty solid dude.

Back at their rattrap apartment, the two mutants briefly consider getting their punk band back together before discarding the notion as they now have better lives and more important things to do.  They then realize how much they hate the old apartment and proceed to gleefully tear down the whole building.


Turtle Tips:

*This issue takes place between TMNT (IDW) #25 and TMNT (IDW) #27.

*Bebop and Rocksteady were shown talking to Alopex about becoming mutants in TMNT Micro-Series #1: Raphael.  Karai held her tournament to determine who would become mutants in TMNT Villains Micro-Series #5: Karai.  Bebop and Rocksteady were finally transformed into mutants in TMNT (IDW) #25.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Regular Cover by Tyler Walpole, Cover RI by Bates, and Cover RE Double Midnight Exclusive by Chris Uminga.


Review:

This was without a doubt the longest simmering plot thread in the IDW comic.  Bebop and Rocksteady, as human thugs, were introduced back in December of 2011, making foreshadowed comments about their desires to become mutant henchmen.  It took nearly two years to see that plot thread brought to fruition.  Was it worth the wait?

Some folks might be disappointed in IDW’s incarnation of the two brainless hench-mutants.  Two years is a long time to anticipate something and it gives you ample opportunity to imagine just how YOU would like to see the characters reincarnated.  I know a lot of people were expecting them to be more serious threats, discarding the silliness of their Fred Wolf cartoon counterparts in exchange for more effective villainy.  And it’s not exactly like IDW hasn’t set a precedent for that sort of thing, either.  When they resurrected the Neutrinos for the “Krang War” arc, gone were the Beatnik-isms and fun-loving hijinks, replaced with grim, ultra-serious angst and intrigue as the hot rodding teenagers from Dimension X became brutal, tactical commandos for the military.

So seeing thes updated incarnations of Bebop and Rocksteady display the exact same level of intellect as their kid’s cartoon counterparts… I can see how some crowds might have interpreted that as a letdown.

But not me.

If you take away the bumbling stupidity or the braindead comedy aspect of Bebop and Rocksteady, then they just aren’t Bebop and Rocksteady.  Being dumb as rocks is a fundamental part of their character and going for a completely “straight” version of them would strike me as missing the point.  Being stupid or being humorous really has never been the “problem” with Bebop and Rocksteady.

What matters is whether or not they’re effective in a fight.

Bebop and Rocksteady work as weapons of mass destruction you just point, unleash and then take cover.  As long as they can give the Turtles a run for their money and KEEP proving themselves to be viable threats, then Bebop and Rocksteady can be as stupid and silly as the writer wants them to be.  But if they start fucking up every mission, handing victories to the protagonists because they can’t get anything right, devolve into pitiable gag enemies whom the Turtles handily defeat with relative ease in every encounter, THAT’S when things start to go wrong.  

I would like to think that the current writers at IDW are cognizant enough of this fact and won’t relegate them to worthless foul-ups.  This issue seemed to illustrate exactly that, too, as Bebop and Rocksteady get their one fuck-up out of the way in their initial mission.  It’s a nice way of showing that they aren’t going to be the self-defeating mongoloids of the Fred Wolf cartoon, as Karai realizes that they’re best used as brute force and nothing else.  Likewise, despite their stupidity, they prove nigh-invulnerable to all forms of attack and waste an entire unit of Foot Soldiers.  I don’t think we have anything to worry about.

Dustin Weaver and Ben Bates plot a pretty good story, but like all the Villain Micros, it’s more of a “to be continued in City Fall, happening now!” sort of thing.  What I appreciated is that it deviated from the format of most of these Villains Micros, which have relied on an ever-present narration or inner monologue from the star character to feed details and back story to the reader.  This installment eschews that angle (likely because a dual monologue would have been unwieldy) and just features Bebop and Rocksteady blundering their way through a simple mission, making things worse and worse the more they try to “fix” it.

I do think there was some inconsistency in the dialogue, though.  Weaver can’t seem to settle on how “stupid” he wants Bebop and Rocksteady to sound.  At times they’ll use poor grammar such as “we wasn’t”, while elsewhere they’ll speak properly with a “we weren’t”.  And some dialogue just didn’t sound right coming from them, like “Plus, no one else will have us”.  That's just a little too eloquent for Rocksteady, don't you think?  Weaver could have pepped that up to something like, I dunno, “Dat, ‘n we ain’t got nowheres else ta go”.

The dialogue doesn’t give them very strong “voices”, either.  And not just in terms of inconsistent good/bad grammar, but with the lack of any sort of verbal tics.  Even Steve Murphy, when writing the Archie TMNT Adventures comic, kept in their goofy habit of pronouncing “turtles” as “toitles” in the written dialogue.  It’s a little thing, but again, it goes a long way in giving them a stronger voice.

Ben Bates is just great.  I only have, like, 10 books on my pull list and by some divine grace he has shown up as an off-and-on penciler for 4 of them.  It’s really impressive the number of varying styles he can adapt to on the fly whilst still giving his work a unique quality.  This issue was a weird mix of heavy duty violence and goofy comedy, but Bates transitioned the scenes quite well.  You’ve got goofy moments where Bebop and Rocksteady are taking crap from a Foot Soldier that can’t stand hearing them yammer, or their struggle to keep pace with Tong as she flees down the halls.  But then there are action sequences loaded with kinetic energy, such as their flight through the police cars.  And all that eventually segues into a brutal montage of them tearing a unit of Foot Soldiers to pieces in the midst of a berserker.  The gears shift really well and I never felt like the attitude was erratically jumping back and forth.

Well, it was a ridiculously long wait, but IDW’s introduction of Bebop and Rocksteady gave me pretty much what I was looking for.  Some elements could have been stronger (the dialogue), but I am happy that the humor of the characters made the transition intact.  It remains to be seen how IDW treats them from here on out, but I trust they didn’t bring them back just to waste them as ineffectual comic relief.

Grade: B- (as in, “Bebop kinda got the short end of the stick in this issue, though, as he didn’t really have any kind of obvious animal-related power to exploit in battle”)



TMNT (1987) Season 4, Part 2 Review

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Check out my review of TMNT (1987) Season 4, part 2 at Adventures in Poor Taste!

With this batch of 7 episodes, I knock out the last of the syndication era.  It's a pretty rough ride, with an inexplicable 2-parter about an alien Casio that defuses explosives, two episodes that would wind-up getting recycled wholesale in seasons 5 and 6 (and done better both times), and some other utter shit I'd like to forget.

The good news is that once season 4 transitions out of syndication and to CBS Saturday Mornings, it gets a whole lot better.  So I'm looking forward to getting to those, next.

And my review of TMNT (IDW) #27 should come around later today when I get off work (or, failing that, after I get back from my Halloween plans; so late tonight).



TMNT (IDW) #27

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Publication date: October 30, 2013

Story: Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, Tom Waltz
Script: Tom Waltz
Art: Mateus Santolouco
Colors: Ronda Pattison
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow

“City Fall, Part Six”

Summary:

Outside a seedy joint, Woody and Mike put the finishing touches on their cunning plan.  Woody gives Mike (who is dressed as an Italian chef) a fresh pizza and then skeedaddles to safety.  Apparently, they’ve been at this all night, but Mike has a good feeling about this round.


Mike knocks on the door and a couple of thugs answer.  They didn’t order any pizza, but figure they ought to eat before they get going to “the big meeting”.  Hearing all he needed, Mikey ditches the disguise (that wasn’t really working) and starts beating some answers out of the thugs regarding this underworld meeting.

At an abandoned warehouse, Angel finally challenges Hun for leadership of the Purple Dragons.  She hits him with her escrima, but he feels nothing.  Before the fight can escalate, a Foot messenger appears from the shadows with orders to Hun to bring the Dragons to a meeting of gangs where they will all swear allegiance to the Foot Clan.  Hun asks the Dragons if they’d rather be a glorified neighborhood watch under Angel’s leadership or filthy rich under his and the Shredder’s leadership.  The Dragons side with Hun and Angel leaves, defeated.

Down in the church lair, Don shows of the anti-gravity gauntlets to April and Raph.  Suddenly, Mike bursts in with news about the underworld meeting; he has a time and a location.  Splinter tells his sons and April that they must prepare to reclaim Leonardo from the Shredder.

Speaking of Leo, at Foot HQ he is lost in a dream.  He sees himself and his brothers about to be executed by the Shredder in Feudal Japan.  He is confused and thinks everything is all wrong.  The spirit of his mother, Tang Shen appears to him and tells him that he does not belong here.  The Shredder swings his sword and Leo awakens.  Karai has been watching him with a cruel look in her eyes.  Dark Leo asks if everything is ready for the meeting.  Karai sneers and tells him that all the "preparations" have been made.


In a parking garage, the Turtles stock up on provisions with Old Hob and Slash.  Raph doesn’t like the amount of munitions Hob is bringing along, but Splinter tells him to appreciate any aid they can get in their mission.  April agrees to operate as getaway driver and sends Casey a text, telling him she’s going to help the Turtles find Leo.

At Foot HQ, Alopex meets with Kitsune.  Speaking in Japanese (as Kitsune does not speaking English), Alopex tells her that when she first heard the stories of a fox-woman from Feudal Japan, it helped her feel at peace, as though she wasn’t the only humanoid fox in the world.  Kitsune replies in English (much to Alopex’s surprise) and tells her that foxes must be cunning and know when to watch and when to act.  Alopex looks surprised, as though Kitsune knows something.

At the hospital, Angel brings Casey his hockey mask which she found outside the Skara Brae.  Casey tells her that his dad came by the other day, looking healthier and happier, and gave him a hockey mask as a peace offering.  Angel spills the beans about his father, “Hun”, and how he has taken over the Purple Dragons and wants to ally himself with the Foot.  Casey grows furious and hobbles out of his hospital bed and gets dressed.  He’s had enough sitting on the sidelines and wants to go to the big meeting to help save Leo and face down his father.

At an old abandoned theater, the Shredder takes the stage as all the gangs in New York watch.  He tells them that he has taken command of every gang in New York, one at a time, with only a single hold out: The Savate.  The beaten Victor is brought onto the stage and Dark Leo hands Shredder a sword.  As Shredder makes an example of Victor by decapitating him, the spirit of Tang Shen appears to Dark Leo and repeats what she said in his dream.  Leo begins to have second thoughts about his allegiance.

Outside the theater, Splinter gives the sign to begin their assault.  Old Hob fires a rocket at the parking lot, exploding several cars as Slash charges the sentries.  The Shredder orders the gangs to leave the theater and deal with the attackers.  Meanwhile, Don uses his anti-gravity gauntlets to levitate a sedan and sends it smashing through the side of the theater.  The Turtles and Splinter invade the theater and tear their way through the Foot Soldiers guarding the Shredder.

In the parking lot, Hun grabs a machinegun and leads the fight against Hob and Slash.  He nails Hob in the leg and is about to gun down Slash when the weapon is knocked from his hand.  Hun turns around to find Angel and Casey (wearing his hockey mask).


Inside, Don uses his gauntlet to send Shredder careening against Alopex.  Dark Leo attacks Raph but can’t bring himself to deliver a killing blow.  Eventually, he succumbs to the confusion and falls to his knees.  Shredder orders Karai to prevent the Turtles from escaping.  She disables Don’s gauntlet with an arrow then calls in her personal reinforcements: Bebop and Rocksteady.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #26.  The story continues in TMNT (IDW) #28.

*Hun took control of the Purple Dragons in TMNT Villains Microseries #6: Hun.  He also tried to recruit Casey into the gang in that story.

*The execution of Leonardo and his brothers in Feudal Japan was seen in TMNT (IDW) #5.

*Alopex swore revenge against the Shredder in TMNT Villains Microseries #4: Alopex.

*Casey lost his mask outside the Skara Brae in TMNT (IDW) #22.

*The underworld meeting was mentioned in TMNT Villains Microseries #7: Bebop and Rocksteady.

*This issue was originally published with 5 variant covers: Cover A by Santolouco, Cover B by Eastman and Pattison, Cover RI by Kenneth Loh and Ian Herring, Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive by Eastman, and Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive Foot Clan symbol.


Review:

“City Fall” has almost reached its climax with this penultimate chapter playing out pretty much as expected.  Mike and Woody’s plan to find the underworld meeting worked as expected.  Hun ousted Angel as expected.  Hob fulfilled his bargain and assisted Splinter as expected.  Dark Leo had a crisis of conscience as expected.  Karai brought Bebop and Rocksteady into battle as expected.  It’s pretty much by the numbers, yeah.

But saying this chapter of the arc was “predictable” isn’t entirely honest.  All these big moments were set up and staged very matter-of-factly in previous chapters and they played out precisely as the those previous chapters said they would.  Can you really say something was “predictable” when the story tells you up front “this is what’s going to happen”?  If anything, the past few chapters were the characters all formulating a plan and this is where it all comes together, as Hannibal might say.

Be all that as it may, the unfolding story in this installment is still very exciting, thanks in large part to Santolouco’s artwork.  Hob’s assault on the, um, empty parking lot was some great action movie stuff and I’ll never cease to enjoy watching Slash go on a rampage.

If anything in this chapter confused me, I suppose it might be Angel returning Casey’s hockey mask to him at the hospital.  You see, in the Hun micro, he gives Casey a mask as a gift and it’s the mask he wore at the start of the series (angular shape, no perforations).  The mask Angel gives him is the one he’s been wearing since Santolouco started drawing (round shape with perforations).  I had always figured Casey just had one mask and Santolouco’s design differences were an artist's interpretation, but okay, I guess he had two masks all along.  So Hun gives him his first mask and Angel gives him his second mask and I guess it’s… symbolic?  Like, choosing which side he wants to be one is determined by which mask he prefers?  But there’s no dilemma for Casey and hell, we don’t even see the two masks together.  He actually only mentions the mask Hun gave him offhandedly.

So what we end up with is two dramatic moments in two different issues where someone offers Casey a hockey mask, like it’s setting up some big choice he’s going to have to make.  But there’s no choice at all, not even for a second.

I dunno, it was just really half-baked, is all I’m saying.  In fact, a part of me almost wants to think it was a hastily covered up instance of discontinuity.  Like Hun returned Casey’s lost mask in the micro, but Waltz threw in a scene where Angel returns the same mask in this issue, so some slapdash dialogue had to be added to explain all the fucking masks people keep giving Casey, goddamn.

What the hell?  Three paragraphs?  About THIS?  Jeez, I’m reaching, here.

Honestly, it’s just that when reviewing any penultimate chapter, I kind of want to hold my tongue a bit.  I don’t want to jump the gun and speak as if I know how the story is going to end (though solicits from IDW kind of blew that months ago) and I don’t want to summarize all my thoughts about the arc until it’s properly finished.

So in exchange, I spend three paragraphs bitching about a fucking hockey mask.  Man…


Grade: C (as in, “Casey just needs his star-spangled hockey mask from the Image series and he’ll be all set”.)

Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #7

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Publication date: November 2013

Script: Ed Caruana
Art: Cosmo White
Colours: Jason Cardy
Colour assist: A. D. Lee & E. Pirrie
Letters: Alex Foot

“A Slice of Luck”

Summary:

At Foot HQ, Fishface tells the Shredder that he has a foolproof scheme to find the Turtles and their sewer lair.  Shredder warns Fishface not to fail him.


Down in the sewers, the Turtles are taking a shortcut to the pizzeria that happens to cross through Leatherhead’s den.  Knowing he can be grouchy when woken, they decide to cross as quietly as possible.  Suddenly, Don’s T-Phone goes off, waking the alligator.  Leatherhead proceeds to grab Donnie by his face and hurl him against a wall.  The Turtles grab the witless Donnie and escape the rampaging gator as Raph tells April to call back at another time.

Exiting the sewers into an alley, Mike laments that Leatherhead must be so lonely down in his den all by himself.  Raph tells Mikey to get over it because it’s pizza time.  Suddenly, they spot a pizza delivery boy on a scooter being chased by a gang of Foot Soldier bikers led by Fishface.


Don fires a grappling hook onto the rear end of one of the bikes and all the Turtles leap onto their skateboards and let themselves get pulled along.  The Foot bikers try to ditch the Turtles and swerve them over to a construction zone, where a plank has been conveniently arranged onto some debris to form a ramp.  The Turtles fly up off the ramp and each land on the back of one of the bikes.

The Turtles easily eject the Foot Soldiers and Fishface from their bikes.  Fishface scampers off, swearing vengeance and the Turtles are pleased with another victory.  The delivery boy thanks them for saving his life, explaining that he saw the Foot robbing a store and they wanted to kill him before he could snitch to the authorities.  He offers the Turtles his stack of pizzas as a token of appreciation; a token they greedily accept.

After the Turtles disappear into the sewers, the delivery boy reconvenes with Fishface.  The delivery boy removes his helmet, revealing himself to be a member of the Foot Clan.  Fishface then produces a device to track the beacon hidden in one of the pizza boxes.

Down in the sewers, the Turtles are all trying to recount their adventure to Master Splinter, but their mouths are full.  Mikey finally shows up and Raph asks him where he’s been.  Mike says he just got back from delivering his last slice of pizza to the slumbering Leatherhead.  Raph wonders if Leatherhead even likes pizza.  Mikey concedes that maybe the gator would have preferred fish…


And on that subject, Fishface leads a unit of Foot Soldiers to what he thinks is the sewer lair.  Unfortunately, it’s Leatherhead’s den (as the box Mikey dropped off was the box with the beacon).  Leatherhead, furious at being so rudely awoken, proceeds to trash all the Foot Soldiers as Fishface calls a retreat.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #6.  The story continues in Nickelodeon TMNT (Panini) #8.

*Obviously, this story has to take place between the episodes “It Came From the Depths” (Leatherhead’s first appearance) and “TCRI” (when Leatherhead is lost in Dimension X).


Review:

These Panini stories all wrap up so nicely; they’re just well-structured little stories that set everything up fluidly at the start and pull it all together by the payoff.  They’re not “challenging” stories by any stretch, but they’re very satisfying, especially considering their economical length.

“A Slice of Luck” is no exception and features a nice selection of appearances from popular action figures/characters.  Fishface kind of suffers the same comedic, bumbling end that Dogpound did back in “Daydream”, but again, these Panini comics are pretty short and can only fit in so much material.  Most of the villains are treated more for humor than menace in these comics and I would like to see them presented as genuine threats rather than punchlines, at least every now and again.

Fishface’s plan is pretty solid and at least half of his blundering can be explained away as an act.  The idea of finding the TMNT’s lair by slipping a homing beacon in a pizza delivery box isn’t exactly new, though.  Shredder tried pulling that one in the old Fred Wolf cartoon, in the episode “Pizza by the Shred”.  It worked about as well there as it did here.

Cosmo White returns for another go around on the art duties and it’s all quite good.  Not to disparage Dario Brizuela’s efforts over at IDW’s TMNT New Animated Adventures book, but the Panini artists generally put a lot more kinetic energy into their layouts and break model for effect a bit more freely.  I’m actually beginning to prefer them.  Those motorcycles the Foot Soldiers and Fishface ride are absurd-looking, however.  I wonder, did White design those himself or was he adapting some sort of action figure vehicle toy?  I’d believe the latter.

Anyhow, this has been two issues of the Panini comic in a row without the Kraang.  I’d love to see them go for a hat trick.


Grade: B+ (as in, “But what is Leatherhead’s obsession with Donatello’s face?  It’s quite homely”.)

The Rippling

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Originally published in: Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #20
Publication date: February, 2006

Plot: Jake Black, Steve Murphy, Peter Laird
Script: Jake Black and Steve Murphy
Art: Fernando Pinto
Letters: Eric Talbot

“The Rippling”

Summary:

In New York Harbor near Liberty Island, the Turtles are out kayaking.  Mikey is distracted by a weird glow he sees beneath the surface of the water and dives down to investigate.  He follows the glow to an underwater cave and finds that it’s coming from a huge egg.  Mikey reaches out to grab the egg.


Suddenly, he finds himself in a dry cave.  He takes a stroll and enters a subterranean city populated by anthropomorphic turtles.  A female turtle, addressing Mikey as the “Lost One”, tells him that he has finally come home.  Mikey is welcomed by a parade and proceeds to party and feast.

Back on the surface, the other Turtles are getting worried, as Mikey has been under way too long.  Raph and Leo dive down to find him.  Leo spots Mikey floating unconscious in the cave and grabs him.  Raph is about to follow Leo when he notices something glowing in the cave.  He investigates and finds the glow is coming from a skull.  The glow illuminates the cave, revealing thousands of dead bodies.  Raph panics and swims back to the surface.


Upon surfacing, Raph sees all of New York has been destroyed and the island of Manhattan flooded.  Before he can figure things out, a shark fin begins surging his way.  It’s not a shark, though, but a humongous, monstrous fish that swallows Raph in a single gulp.

Raph awakens with a slap to the face from Don, who has rescued him from the cave.  Both Mike and Raph relate their stories to Leo and Don, though neither can agree on the source of the glow.  Leo decides to meditate and clear his mind before going to see for himself.

Diving down to the cave, he sees that the glow is coming from a Conquistador helmet.  Leo touches the helmet and a vision is projected into his mind.  He sees the priest of an ancient civilization punishing a Conquistador for his many evils.  The priest binds the Conquistador’s soul to his helmet for all eternity.  The voice of the Conquistador then speaks to Leo, begging to be destroyed.  Leo draws his katana and destroys the helmet.  There’s a minor explosion and Leo resurfaces.

Leo tells his brothers what happened; that the cursed helmet made those who touched it see their innermost longings and revel in them until they drowned.  Don suggests that perhaps Leo didn’t actually destroy the helmet and that it might not have been a helmet at all; that whatever it was may have made Leo think he destroyed it because that was his innermost longing.  Leo brushes off the suggestion, claiming that the object is no longer a threat, whatever the case.


Later, off the coast of Ethiopia, a trio of fishermen worry that if they don’t catch something soon, their village will starve.  One of the fishermen, wearing a cross around his neck, notices a glow beneath the waves.  He dives down and finds a large cross jutting out of the seabed.  He touches it and suddenly finds himself surrounded by schools of fish…


Turtle Tips:

*Personally, I would place this story during the “Mirage Volume 3” era of the series, but it could really take place almost anywhere.


Review:

This story was slightly reminiscent of an old short published in Quest for Dreams Lost #1.  It had similar trappings: the Turtles dive down beneath the water to find a mystical artifact and are troubled by horrible monsters.  But beyond those superficial similarities, the two stories hold nothing else in common and “The Rippling” is far and away the better of the two.

At 14 pages, “The Rippling” is pretty meaty for what’s considered a short.  It could easily have been expanded another 10 pages and been a full issue, and I somewhat lament that it wasn’t.  I’d like to have seen Don’s vision, at least (he sort of gets the shaft, being the only Turtle not to succumb to the glowing object).

While not especially “deep”, the story illustrates a solid understanding of each Turtle and their innermost desires.  Mike yearns to be accepted by society, Raph would enjoy living in a world of violence, and Leo desperately wants to be the hero who ultimately vanquishes evil to save the day.  It’s a nice crash course in the characters, though again, it would have benefited from being a full issue so we could spend more time in each fantasy.

Aside from making the Turtles look a little on the rotund side, Fernando Pinto offers up some good pencils.  They’re a bit swirly and strange, but that’s entirely fitting of the story and its reality-bending plot device.  At one point, Raph describes the monster that attacks him in his fantasy as “fish-Don”, even though the monster isn’t drawn to look anything like a grotesque version of Donatello.  I wonder if there was some miscommunication between the writers and the artist (with three plotters and two scripters, I can imagine).

Anyhow, if “The Rippling” is guilty of anything, it’s that it deserved to be a full issue.  As a short, though, it’s still satisfying and with a nice twist ending, to boot.


Grade: B (as in, “But jeez, don’t they have it bad enough in Ethiopia?”)

Retrospective: The Mirage TMNT Volume 1 "Guest Era"

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*Introduction

“Yeah, what the heck was up with that, anyway?”

The above is usually the response one gets when they broach the subject of Mirage’s “Guest Era”, a protracted and ambitious sequence of issues that stopped the narrative flow of TMNT Volume 1 absolutely freakin’ DEAD.

For some background, the “Guest Era” is recognized as having run from TMNT (Vol. 1) #22 (June, 1989) through TMNT (Vol. 1) #44 (February, 1992).  There are some exceptions: TMNT (Vol. 1) #16 and TMNT (Vol. 1) #18 are considered guest stories even though they predate the full-on “Guest Era”, while TMNT (Vol. 1) #27 and TMNT (Vol. 1) #28 are considered in-house Mirage productions, not guest stories, and are part of Mirage canon.

But all exceptions aside, there were 2 ½ years where Mirage put their ongoing continuity of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stories on hold so that guest creators from other independent comics could have free reign to create any sort of Ninja Turtles comic their imaginations could muster.  Conceptually, this sounds like a really fascinating idea.  In practice, however?  The results are often debated.  There are those who adore the era and all its wild ideas while others detest it for derailing the storytelling momentum of the series for over two years.

My personal opinion is somewhere in-between, though I think I drift closer to disliking the experiment than appreciating it.  While the “Guest Era” gave us some truly great TMNT stories from unlikely contributors, it more often than not lacked the variety and imagination which was the entire point.  I’ve reviewed every issue in the “Guest Era” individually, and you may want to check those out for my detailed opinions on each story.  Here, though, I thought I’d collect my thoughts into a single retrospective article on one of the weirdest times in Mirage’s TMNT publishing history.


*Stories that work with “canon”

I suppose the first place to start would be to talk about those stories which don’t deviate from the continuity of the in-house Mirage productions, but instead endeavor to work with them.  As a matter of fact, some of these stories would be referenced by in-house Mirage issues and were considered “canon” for a time (an attitude which Mirage was forced to recant as a matter of legal necessity due to royalty payments and ownership rights).

While I do think too many comic readers put an unnecessary emphasis on continuity these days (being more concerned with “what counts” rather than “what’s good”), I think it’s important for the purpose of this retrospective to point out that not all the stories in the “Guest Era” were intended to take place in some alternate universe wacky land.


For the record, the issues which are referenced by Mirage’s in-house comics or simply don’t interfere with the continuity of the Mirage series in any way are the stories by:

Rick Arthur (#44)
Richard Corben (#33)
A.C. Farley (#29, 43)
Rick McCollum and Bill Anderson (#37, 42)
Rick Veitch (#24, 25, 26, 30)

So as you can see, nearly half of the “Guest Era” (10 out of 23) endeavor to cooperate with the ongoing narrative of Mirage’s continuity and actively build upon its characters and mythology.  Heck, the only reason these stories were even “stricken from the record”, so to speak, was due to difficulties involving royalty payments and some burnt bridges caused by Mirage’s “mandatory retroactive work-for-hire contracts” (a controversial subject for another day). 

At the time they were written, many of these stories were embraced by Mirage’s in-house staff and elements were worked into primary continuity.  Rick Veitch’s contributions, especially, were absorbed into the ongoing Mirage storyline.  TMNT #28 (Steve Murphy’s “Sons of the Silent Age”) spins directly out from the events of Veitch’s “The River” trilogy (TMNT #24-26) with a page of art (by Jim Lawson, below) recreating a scene from “The River”.


Perhaps even more important was a character trait for Casey Jones which Veitch created (most prominently in the story “Sky Highway”, TMNT #30): Casey’s obsession with his Chevy.  The McCollum/Anderson team would run with the idea (in TMNT #42) and it would become one of the more obvious aspects of Casey’s early characterization.  The reason these stories which highlight Casey’s love of his car are important is that they set up a major piece of symbolism during Mirage’s “City at War” storyline (TMNT #50-62).  If one were to read just the “canon” issues of TMNT Volume 1, skipping the stories by Veitch and McCollum/Anderson, then they would also miss a good chunk of subtext in Casey’s portion of “City at War”.

The McCollum/Anderson story “Twilight of the Ring” (TMNT #37), in what’s most likely a coincidence, actually sets up a plot point Mirage would reveal later on in their “future” storylines.  In the McCollum/Anderson story, the Turtles restore a cycle of evolutionary dominance, inadvertently initiating the downfall of human civilization.  This would later come to pass in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #69.


Other guest issues aren’t referenced by Mirage in-house, but reference Mirage storylines.  McCollum/Anderson’s tale “Juliet’s Revenge” (TMNT #42) mentions numerous Mirage rogues and acts as a follow-up to the events of Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #7.  Corben’s story “Turtles Take Time” (TMNT #33) features one of Renet’s time travel devices winding up in April’s living room, sending the TMNT on an adventure through history.

Meanwhile, stories such as Rick Arthur’s “The Violent Underground” (TMNT #44) and A.C. Farley’s “Men of Shadow” and “Halls of Lost Legend” (TMNT #29, 43) don’t make any overt references to anything, but also have no contradictory material to speak of.  In the case of A.C. Farley, he did a lot of work for Mirage and may have even been on staff (I don’t know the specifics), so it’s odd that his contributions are not considered part of Mirage canon (while staffer Steve Murphy’s two issues that came out during the “Guest Era” are).

So looking back, the span between TMNT #21 and TMNT #45 wasn’t a complete drought of in-continuity material.  Like I said, nearly half the issues were written to fit into the established storylines and many of them contributed to characters and arcs.

Why is it, then, that so many fans look back at the “Guest Era” with revulsion and frustration?


*The surreal “ran-dumb” comedy relief issues

Ahhhh, it’s all coming back to me, now.

This is the other extreme end of the spectrum.  As opposed to stories written to take place within the ongoing narrative of the in-house Mirage productions, these are stories that go way off the deep end into goofy, surreal, crazy comedy antics.  Some are weirder than others, but they’re all guilty of trying to be “wacky”.


For the record, these are the stories by:

Mark Bode’ (#18, 32)
Rich Hedden and Tom McWeeney (#34, 38, 39, 40)
Matt Howarth (#41)
Mark Martin (#16, 22, 23)

Look, not all of these are bad.  I rather like Hedden & McWeeney’s “Toitle Anxiety” (TMNT #34) and Martin’s “A TMNT Story” (TMNT #16).  And even some of the ones I’m not that big on do have their moments, such as the excellent cartooning in Bode’s “Shell of the Dragon” (TMNT #18) and at least 50% of Howarth’s “Turtle Dreams” (TMNT #41) is surprisingly insightful.


No, what makes many of these a chore to sit through is that they don’t know when to end.  There’s nothing worse than a joke that overstays its welcome and many of the gags in these comedy relief issues were pretty thin to begin with.  Martin’s TMNT #16 was a damn good story, but then he elected to stretch it out into a trilogy and by the end of the thing you’re just begging for it to stop.  Perhaps the most infamous offender of the entire “Guest Era” was Hedden & McWeeney’s “Spaced Out” trilogy that spanned TMNT #38-40.  They’re good cartoonists with a zany style, but three issues in a row is overdoing it.  What could have been a fun one-shot was bloated into three months of tedium.


And I suppose that’s another facet of the problem.  In an action-adventure series, comedy relief stories are fun when they’re used as breathers or punctuation between dramatic storylines.  But when they absorb an entire book for month after month after month, they wear you down.  There was no strategy to their implementation, particularly through the #30s, when it seemed like it was just one surreal humor story after another with the action-adventure stories being the brief respite.


The entire experience just leaves a rotten taste in your mouth and even going back and looking over everything, I think it was planned very, very poorly.  The basic idea of the “Guest Era” was for independent creators to reinvent the Turtles in entirely new and fresh ways.  But of the 23 issues that make up the “Guest Era”, 10 are written to safely take place within Mirage continuity and 10 are written as silly, “ran-dumb” nonsense comedy stories.  How is that “variety”, precisely?  It’s just trading one extreme for the other and we really weren’t treated to much innovation or imagination (I don’t consider stream-of-consciousness “ran-dumb” writing to be imaginative, sorry).

But what about the other 3?  Well, I’ll get to those in a minute, but only because I want to end this article on a positive note.  Before I can get there, though, I have to comment on…


*Indie creators using the TMNT comic to shill their own characters

By 1989, when the “Guest Era” began, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had already become an immensely recognizable brand name (what with the cartoon and toyline having begun 2 years earlier).  By having their names attached to the TMNT comic book, the indie creators invited to participate in the “Guest Era” were receiving some major publicity.

Unfortunately, many of those creators chose to exploit the opportunity not as a means to create Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stories, but as a means to promote their creator-owned characters… with special guest appearances from the Ninja Turtles.


The third chapter in Mark Martin’s “Time Traveler” trilogy (TMNT #23) almost completely eliminates the presence of TMNT franchise characters and is instead an issue of his “Gnatrat” series, thinly disguised as a Ninja Turtles story.  The previous installments in the trilogy were suspiciously lacking in the titular Ninja Turtles, but the finale was pretty much all Gnatrat, who isn’t a particularly charming character.  At the end of the day, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were reduced to making a cameo in their own comic.


While I enjoyed part of Matt Howarth’s “Turtle Dreams” (TMNT #41), the worst segment of the story occurs when Ron and Russ Post of Howarth’s creator-owned series “Those Annoying Post Bros” invade the narrative for a gratuitous guest spot that stretches on and on and on.  It doesn’t enhance anything Howarth was trying to do with the story of that issue, it’s just a reminder to all the readers out there that they can buy “Those Annoying Post Bros” issues on stands now (well, not anymore).

Other issues didn’t jam in existing creator-owned characters, but instead were used as pitches for new characters (none of whom, I believe, were ever used again outside of their TMNT appearances). 


In Farley’s “Men of Shadow” (TMNT #29), the Turtles play second fiddle to vampire hunter and paranormal investigator Clark Ashton Allard, who has his own rogues gallery, back story, motivations and… really, why does he even need the Turtles at all?

Bode’s “Shell of the Dragon” (TMNT #18) isn’t quite so dismissive of the Turtles, but stars original character Chang Lee.  The story is about him and his troubles with Chinese gangs and the Turtles spend much of the narrative on the sidelines, as Chang Lee shows off how awesome he is and wouldn’t you like to read an ongoing series starring him right now?  Huh?  Huh?


Possibly the absolute worst offender is Rick Arthur’s “The Violent Underground” (TMNT #44) which introduces his character Lucindra to the detriment of absolutely everybody else.  He attempts to endear her to the audience by showcasing how she’s better than everybody at absolutely every possible thing and is just all-around flawless in every conceivable way.  It’s a very brazen and blatant attempt to pitch a new character and rather than be a story about the Ninja Turtles, “The Violent Underground” is a story about how you need to buy a series starring Lucindra because she’s just so hip.

This stuff is awful and it mars what would otherwise be some great issues (“The Violent Underground” and “Men of Shadow” both feature some killer art by Arthur and Farley).  It makes much of the “Guest Era” reek of insincerity, like many of these creators had no interest in writing Ninja Turtle stories; they just wanted a wider audience to pitch their independently owned spin-off characters to.

But there’s a diamond in every rough, and that would be…


*The “Souls Winter” trilogy

Even for those that hate the “Guest Era”, you might find it was all worth it for Michael Zulli’s “Souls Winter” trilogy (#31, 35, 36).


Zulli seemed to be the only creator to fully grasp the possibilities of the “Guest Era”.  While most of the indie creators were content to do either in-continuity stories or “ran-dumb” bullshit comedies, Zulli elected to recreate the Ninja Turtles from scratch.

“Souls Winter” is a complete reboot, offering an alternate glimpse at what the Turtles might be like had they been born through more spiritual and mystical means, as opposed to science fiction contrivances.  The familiar set up is there, with Splinter and his battle against Shredder and the Foot Clan, but the execution is largely different.  While individual characterization for the Turtles isn’t as strong (they don’t have unique names or identifying weapons), there’s a deeper narrative about the nature of the soul and what constitutes a life.


It’s a fascinating arc with some drop-dead gorgeous artwork by Zulli.  There are no corners cut and nothing feels phoned in.  “Souls Winter” is the only installment in the “Guest Era” that actually took the Turtles and reinvented them in a brand new way.


*Conclusion

So, was the “Guest Era” experiment successful?  Well, I think that is largely up to the opinion of the individual reader.  If the purpose of the “Guest Era” was to get a bunch of freelance creators to make stories for Mirage, then yeah, I guess it was a success.  But if the purpose was for those creators to bring something unique and challenging to the table, then I think that by and large, no.  It was not very successful in its endeavor.


I adore many of these stories and I appreciate the spirit of the idea, but the planning was a disaster, the variety of content was sorely lacking and many of the creators seemed preoccupied with promoting themselves rather than telling good stories (one would think telling a good story would be the best way to promote yourself, but hey). 


There are great individual tales to be cherry-picked from the pool, and even the lesser ones still often have high-quality artwork to draw you in.  So I wouldn’t write the entire run of stories off with a hand wave.  If anything, I’d suggest one check it out and see for themselves what appeals to them.  IDW has currently been collecting these installments rather haphazardly in their TMNT Classics trade paperback volumes, so getting a hold of them is easier than ever.  Well, except the issues from creators who never signed the "mandatory retroactive work-for-hire contracts", anyway.  We may never see any of those ever again.


Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #21

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Publication date: March, 2006

Plot: Ryan Brown, Steve Murphy and Peter Laird
Script: Steve Murphy
Breakdowns: Jim Lawson
Pencils and tones: Dario Brizuela
Inks: Andres Ponce
Frontispiece: Eric Theriault
Lettering: Eric Talbot
Letters page art: Aaron Tompkins
Special thanks for “art assistance”: Leandro Corral, Nelson Luty, Abril Barrado

“A (Bull) Wrinkle in Time”

Summary:

Frontispiece: On a freeway, Michelangelo is facing down a tornado, complete with a cow sucked straight from a dairy farm.  The sight reminds Mikey about how much he hates “Got Milk?” ads, because they’re unfair to low income families who cannot afford milk.  He also hates how unhealthy beef is due to qualities such as mad cow disease and bovine growth hormones.  All this cattle talk also reminds him of a story…

In Moo Mesa, Generic Native American Stereotype Jose Rey is busy telling the story of creation to a school of kids (they’re all anthropomorphic cows, by the way).  Rey explains that in the beginning, there was only the Great Turtle and his animal friends, swimming in an endless ocean.  Then a comet came out of the sky carrying a beautiful girl and landed in the ocean.  The Great Turtle asked that soil be brought up from the ocean floor and placed on his back so that the girl could have a land to live on.  The soil grew and became the Earth, now held up forever by the Great Turtle.


The story is interrupted by the youngster Cody Calf, who has terrible news: Sheriff Terrorbull invaded the Sacred Cave and stole the Crystal Shard (a piece of the comet that created the Earth).  The C.O.W.-Boys (Marshal Moo Montana, the Dakota Dude and the Cowlorado Kid) tried to stop him, but he escaped through a magical door.  The C.O.W.-Boys gave chase and vanished.  Jose Rey uses his mystical third eye to begin searching the Astral Plane for wherever the C.O.W.-Boys might have gone.

Turns out they’re in Manhattan.  The bovines are bewildered by this strange city (and displeased with the light pollution and lack of flora), but decide to continue their pursuit of Terrorbull before he can cause too much trouble.  They follow the sound of an alarm to a jewelry store which has just been robbed and figure they’re on Terrorbull’s trail.  The police mistake the C.O.W.-Boys for the thieves, however, and give chase.  The cattle are chased into a blind alley, but Michelangelo surprises them from a manhole.  He invites the C.O.W.-Boys to join him in the sewer before the police catch up.

Following Mikey to the lair, both groups fill the other in on their origins and situation.  As Raph fights a sudden craving for burgers, Donnie figures he might be able to get a bead on Terrorbull with his police scanner.  The police band mentions a gang of cow-men robbing the Gold Reserve and the TMNT and C.O.W.-Boys head out.

Arriving at the Gold Reserve, they spot a dozen Terrorbull clones shooting it out with the police.  Montana figures the fiend used the Crystal Shard to create magic duplicates of himself.  The Turtles, Dakota and Cowlorado keep the Terrorbull clones (and police) busy while Montana sneaks into the Gold Reserve to take out the genuine article.


Inside, Montana finds Terrorbull raiding the gold vaults and using the magic doorways to stash his horde in his hideaway back in Moo Mesa.  The two do battle, while outside, the Turtles and the C.O.W.-Boys commandeer some police horses to round up the Terrorbull clones and lasso them.  With that out of the way, Mikey hurries to help Montana knockout Terrorbull.  With the Crystal Shard now out of villainous hands, all the clones vanish.

The Turtles and the C.O.W.-Boys carry the hog-tied Terrorbull back to the lair where they find Splinter and Jose Rey communicating via the Astral Plane.  Jose Rey helps Montana use the Crystal Shard to open a doorway back to Moo Mesa and the C.O.W.-Boys bid farewell.


Epilogue:  The C.O.W.-Boys return the Crystal Shard to the Sacred Cave and with a job well done, decide to head down to the Tumbleweed Saloon for some sarsaparillas and turtle soup (though they’re not proud of the latter).  At the schoolhouse, Jose Rey tells the kids all about how the four Great Turtles saved the Crystal Shard.  One of the kids says that he thought there was only one Great Turtle.  Rey says that, at least for the day, there are now four.


Turtle Tips:

*The Turtles will encounter the C.O.W.-Boys again in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #32.

*As for where this one goes in the timeline, Splinter threatens to ground Raphael after he makes a comment about hamburgers, meaning the Turtles still have to be relatively young.  Since they're living in the sewer lair, that would have to put this sometime after TMNT (Vol. 1) #21.

*In case you don’t remember, the Wild West C.O.W. Boys of Moo Mesa were characters created by Mirage staffer Ryan Brown and his father Bob Brown.  They had a short-lived cartoon, comic series and toyline which, according to the opening editorial, were much more popular in Latin American countries than in the US.

*This issue featured a contest from Steve Murphy challenging readers to name the source of every literary quote he included throughout the letters page.  Winner would receive the Eric Talbot letters page artwork from Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #20.  The more difficult challenge would be to read through all of Murphy’s letter responses without gagging, rolling your eyes or falling asleep.  I failed on all three counts.


Review:

Wow, that sure was some fanfiction-quality stuff, wasn’t it?  A deus ex machina to bring the two groups together, a no-questions-asked alliance and a thoroughly lackluster resolution (Montana punches Terrorbull and that’s the end of that).  Honestly, this is a really lousy story and the only attraction is seeing the TMNT and the C.O.W.-Boys crossing over (and Brizuela’s art).  But are there reallythat many Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa fans out there to even warrant much excitement over this crossover?

I recall the C.O.W.-Boys from back in the day, but it was just one cartoon in a repulsive glut of anthropomorphic animal action shows churned out to cash-in on the popularity of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  The Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa left about as big an impact on me as the Biker Mice from Mars.  It came in to piggyback on a fad while the iron was hot then vanished just as quickly.  26 episodes total.  That’s it.  I mean, seriously, guys; Street Sharks and Extreme Dinosaurs lasted longer than that (and their crossover was better, God help us all).

But I guess what separates Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa from all the other TMNT wannabes was that this was a TMNT wannabe created by a Mirage staffer.  So that awards it a little extra mileage, I guess.

What bums me out is that Ryan Brown has no credit in this issue beyond plotting the story (with two other people).  It might have been interesting to see the creator return to his creations after a decade, but he didn’t write the script or draw the issue or anything.  Instead, go-to-guy Steve Murphy handles the writing side of things and I already covered how uninspired the whole story was.  Seriously, Michelangelo just pops his head out of a random manhole in New York, sees the C.O.W.-Boys running from the cops and instantly thinks “they must be good guys; I should invite them to our secret lair immediately!”

At least Murphy keeps his jacking off to Native American culture to a minimum and shows the restraint to sprinkle in only a couple of environmental messages.  Well, except for the frontispiece and Michelangelo's unsolicited rant about the dairy and beef industries.  That was nothing but Murphy using the Turtle as his own personal mouthpiece.

I dunno, I guess I’m being a jerk in this review.  I’m sorry.  Wild West C.O.W.-Boys has its fans (apparently they’re all in Latin America.; you know, like that friend of yours who insists he has a girlfriend, but she lives in Canada) and I imagine they got a kick out of seeing their thoroughly dead obsession resurrected for an inexplicable comic book crossover.  And when there hadn’t been any C.O.W.-Boys material in 12 years when this issue came out, I doubt they were feeling especially picky.  But the story is awful and the characters have absolutely no personality whatsoever (Montana is the leader, Dakota and Cowlorado are The Other Guys).  All this thing has going for it is some wonderful art by Dario Brizuela and a slew of cow puns.  On second thought, scratch that second compliment; those puns were excruciating.

If this had been a one-off, it would have been harmless enough.  But we got three more issues of this shit, for some reason.


Grade: D (as in, “Dakota Dude was the only one whose voice I remembered, but that's because he sounded like redneck Nega Duck”.)

Nickelodeon TMNT Season 1, Part 2: Review

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Been really digging Nick's TMNT cartoon and found I can't stop going on about each episode in my reviews.  Just a lot to dig into and appreciate.

So here's my review of Season 1, Part 2 at Adventures in Poor Taste.

In this batch, I cover "New Friend, Old Enemy", "I Think His Name Is Baxter Stockman", "Metalhead" and "Monkey Brains".

And keeping with my flipflopping schedule, next will be another batch of Fred Wolf TMNT Season 4 episodes.  Lord, give me strength...


Update on the TMNT manga translations and links

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As some of you have noticed, all the links in the TMNT Manga index on this site have been dead.  The Optical Internet Translation Gang have been experiencing some website troubles and are currently looking for a new URL and building a new site.

Until then, I've included a temporary link directly to the Mediafire index for the manga translations along with an explanatory note in red.  But for the record you can find the archived manga cbr downloads here.

That also means the TMNT III translations are going to be on hiatus until there's a site to put them on.  I'll keep you updated whenever there's progress.



Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #32

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Publication date: February, 2007

Plot: Peter Laird and Ryan Brown
Words: Steve Murphy
Layouts: Ryan Brown
Pencils: Dario Brizuela
Inks: Joe Rubinstein
Letters: Eric Talbot
Frontispiece: Jim Webb
Cover pencils: Dario Brizuela
Cover inks: Ryan Brown
Cover colors: Eric Talbot
Outhouse: Diego Jourdan

“The Eye of Aga-Moo-Tou”

Summary:

Frontispiece: Drawing his katana, Leonardo prepares to defend Klunk from a mysterious foe.  Leo says that he’s willing to take on any challenger and rarely minds a good fight, but when the same bad guy keeps coming back over and over and over again, he starts to get annoyed…

Somewhere in Moo Mesa, the mystic turtle Tsou-T’an-Jin meditates, hoping to glimpse the Eye of Aga-Moo-Tou and perceive even a fraction of its omniscient wisdom.  He astral projects to the ethereal dimension Bov-Gamesh and makes his way toward the Eye.  However, he’s cut off by none other than Savanti Romero.  Romero blasts Tsou and forces his spirit back into his body.  Sensing great danger, Tsou realizes he must call for help.


Elsewhere in Moo Mesa, at the Tumbleweed Saloon, the C.O.W.-Boys (Marshal Moo Montana, the Dakota Dude and the Cowlorado Kid) are enjoying some drinks when everyone is startled by a strange light in the distance.  The eerie glow is coming from the Sacred Cave, so the C.O.W.-Boys decide to investigate.

Inside the cave, the glow is coming from a weird door made of light.  The C.O.W.-Boys step through the door and find themselves in Bov-Gamesh.  They ascend a staircase floating in space and eventually spot Savanti Romero, chanting spells at the Eye.  Romero doesn’t want to be disturbed and transforms their guns into snakes.  The snakes quickly coil around and subdue the C.O.W.-Boys.

In Manhattan, the Turtles are on a rooftop battling a strange bunch of ninja they’ve never seen before.  They each strike a ninja, but their foes vanish into thin air.  The Turtles are then approached by the astral form of Tsou, who says he had nothing to do with the weird ninja and asks for their help.  The Turtles aren’t in a hurry to assist the stranger until he mentions that their old friends, the C.O.W.-Boys, are in trouble.  The Turtles rise to the occasion and enter through a doorway made of light, conjured up by Tsou.

The Turtles wind up in Bov-Gamesh and make their way up the staircase.  They’re stopped partway by the C.O.W.-Boys, who are now under the control of Savanti Romero.  Romero turns the C.O.W.-Boys on the Turtles as he continues his spell.  Hoping to gain the omniscient power of the Eye, he focuses its energy through the Crystal Shard in the Sacred Cave and back into himself.  By doing so, he alerts Moo Mesa mystic Jose Rey.


Tsou attempts to undo Romero’s spell on the C.O.W.-Boys, but Romero interferes, transferring the spell to the Turtles.  Now the C.O.W.-Boys are free, but find themselves under attack from the mind-controlled Turtles.  As the battle rages on, Splinter and Jose Rey show up and attempt to sort out the brawl.  Romero brushes them aside and completes his spell, refocusing all the energy of the Eye of Aga-Moo-Tou into himself.  There’s a bright flash and then the three mystics (Tsou, Splinter and Rey) decide they’re satisfied with the outcome.

Tsou frees the Turtles from their mind control.  The C.O.W.-Boys feel like they missed something and ask where Romero went.  Tsou explains that when Romero merged with the Eye, his feeble brain was incapable of handling complete multiversal omniscience.  The experience broke Romero’s mind, rendering him an inert husk.  He was then absorbed into the Eye of Aga-Moo-Tou, where he will remain forever.


Epilogue: At the Tumbleweed Saloon, the Turtles and the C.O.W.-Boys enjoy some drinks and shenanigans before parting ways.  The three mystics, meanwhile, discuss the concept of beginnings and endings over a pot of tea.  Unnoticed by anyone, a stranger exits the saloon, chuckling to himself that all things must inevitably end.  As the anthropomorphic cow mounts his horse, his coat opens up revealing… an Utrom?


Turtle Tips:

*The Turtles last met the C.O.W.-Boys in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #21.  They’ll meet them again in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #52.

*In that first C.O.W.-Boys encounter, the Turtles were rather young and still able to be grounded by Splinter.  Due to the presence of Savanti Romero and this being their final encounter with him, this story has to take place some years later.  Personally, I stick it in the Mirage “Volume 3” era.

*The Turtles last encountered Savanti Romero in TMNT (Vol. 1) #47.  To date, this is Romero’s final appearance.

*The opening editorial cartoon was drawn by Diego Jourdan with words by Steve Murphy (it’s just him sitting in an outhouse shouting Dr. Strange pastiches to himself).

*The credits for this issue mistakenly omit Jim Webb’s credit for the frontispiece.  His credit and an apology were published in the opening editorial of Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #33.


Review:

This second Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa crossover was quite a bit more tolerable than the first.  It doesn’t suffer from being quite as rushed, even if it’s only a few pages longer.  I think what helps is that Murphy uses familiarity to his advantage to skip past the establishing stages.  Lousy as it was, the first chapter in the Moo Mesa arc at least got the two franchise characters familiar with each other.  Likewise, the inclusion of classic TMNT villain Savanti Romero eliminates any need to setup a new bad guy and explain their background or motivations.

All that being said, it still isn’t a particularly goodstory.  While Terrorbull in the first part was out to steal gold and jewels, Romero is out to steal Ultimate Power and they both commit the larceny in similar smash-and-grab fashion.  Yeah, the conflict in this chapter isn’t as smalltime as the conflict in the first, but the execution isn’t a whole heck of a lot better.

Fulfilling a crossover cliché the first chapter avoided, the TMNT and the C.O.W.-Boys engage in a gratuitous fight.  It’s a cliché, yeah, but one I can get over; if you’re going to have characters meet each other, folks are going to want to see them fight.  The disappointment instead comes from the fact that in both variations of the battle, the non-mind-controlled side pulls their punches.  You know, the whole “we don’t want to hurt our friends” deal.  So it’s a whole lot of characters just standing around getting punched as they make horrible, horrible cow puns and whine that they can’t fight back.

As for Romero, he’s as comically dense as ever, which leaves me conflicted about the resolution.  I like Romero as a bumbling oaf with incredible power as it makes him one of the more amusing recurring antagonists in the series.  So the fact that he defeats himself at the end by underestimating the power of the Eye is entirely fitting.  The problem with that though is… the villain defeats himself.  The Turtles and the C.O.W.-Boys could have both just stayed at home and slept in and the story would have ended the exact same way.  They contributed nothing to the resolution.  It makes the whole story feel rather pointless, doesn’t it?

And I have no idea what inspired Murphy to make this story a pastiche of Marvel’s Dr. Strange comics.  I can’t think of anything about the C.O.W.-Boys or the Turtles that screamed “Marvel Comics”.  He’ll do this later on in the arc with a Galactus homage and it’s all just really random and kind of stupid.

So yeah, this was an improvement of sorts, but it still wasn’t all that good.


Grade: D+ (as in, “Don’t expect me to name all those Moo Mesa characters on page 6, because beyond Saddle Sore and Boothill Buzzard, I don’t know any of them”.)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #52

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Publication date: November, 2008

Plot: Steve Murphy, Ryan Brown and Peter Laird
Script: Steve Murphy
Thumbnails: Ryan Brown
Art: Dario Brizuela
Letters: Eric Talbot
Frontispiece: Michael Dooney
Front cover: Dario Brizuela and Steve Lavigne
Back cover: Fernando Leon Gonzalez

“The Crystal at the Heart of the World”

Summary:

Frontispiece: Dressed as a sheriff and hanging out at a ranch, Mikey mentions how most badmen quiet down once the law shows up.  Most, but not all…


On the plains of Moo Mesa, a rider races to a meeting place in a narrow canyon.  The rider is Bixolio, an Utrom.  He meets with the thief Bat Blastagun who has fulfilled his end of their transaction: stealing a device called a Cosmic Stigmatifier.  Bixolio jams a glove in the strange device, shutting it down.

At Utrom HQ on Earth, Donatello and Glurin are working on some experiments when Glurin’s Cosmic Stigmatifier Monitor starts going off.  Apparently, Cosmic Stigmatifiers are like perpetual motion machines and are supposed to be incapable of being shut down.  Raph and Casey show up with some burgers and Glurin suggests the four of them use his Dimensional Gridshift Unit (or “Gridshifter”) to travel across time and space and check in on the faulty Stigmatifier.

Back in Moo Mesa, the C.O.W.-Boys (Marshal Moo Montana, the Dakota Dude, the Cowlorado Kid) are in a shootout with Blastagun and Bixolio.  Bixolio flees, leaving Blastagun behind to be captured.  Suddenly, Glurin, Don, Raph and Casey appear in a bright flash of light.  After a brief introduction, Glurin repairs the Stigmatifier by removing the jammed glove and wonders what the point of vandalizing it was.


They’re startled by several ordinary cows draped in tattered clothing that come stampeding through the canyon.  They’re followed by mystic Jose Rey, who explains that these cows were once citizens of Moo Mesa, but some insidious force de-evolved them.  Jose Rey says he’s spent some time communing with the spirits on this predicament and came into contact with a powerful transdimensional creature: Cudley the Cowlick.  Raph and Don feel a strange sense of déjà vu upon seeing him, but Cudley says there isn’t any time to discuss it.  Jose then uses his mystical third eye to track where the strange energies are coming from.

The trail leads them to the Sacred Cave, where they find Bixolio and several members of the Utromi Preservi cutting shards off the Sacred Crystal and experimenting with its energies on the helpless citizens of Moo Mesa.  The good guys charge and a firefight breaks out.  In the chaos, Blastagun sees his chance to escape and breaks his bonds.  He then summons all the bats in the cave to cover his escape as he flies away.  The sonar from the bats shorts out the hovercrafts of the Utromi Preservi and they all plummet to the ground.  The C.O.W.-Boys round up the Preservi, though Bixolio has escaped.


A hooded stranger then interrupts them, saying she can explain everything.  She’s a strange alien named Ola of the Una.  The Una are the oldest surviving race of the multiverse and long ago took it upon themselves to watch over all other sentient races.  The Una planted Muta-Crystals within numerous worlds, including below Moo Mesa (the Sacred Crystal being a fragment of the Muta-Crystal).  The Muta-Crystals create Lightports, which are like wormholes allowing transportation from one world to another.  The Utromi Preservi ambushed her as she was travelling through the Lightport, mortally wounding her, then began searing off shards of the Muta-Crystal in Moo Mesa for their own ends.

Una asks Cudley to take her back to her homeworld where she can die in peace and Cudley abides.  Moo Montana then gives custody of the prisoners over to Glurin so he can take them back to Utrom HQ on Earth for punishment.  With that over with, the Turtles and Casey bid farewell and Glurin activates the Gridshifter to send them home.  While between dimensions, however, Bixolio surprises them from the other direction.  He frees the Preservi prisoners and disappears with them.

Upon arriving back at the lab, Glurin is horrified to find that his Cosmic Stigmatifier Monitor has been stolen.  Raphael then surmises that Bixolio’s entire “scheme” to clog one Stigmatifier was a ruse to get Glurin away from the Monitor.  Donatello asks what’s so valuable about the Monitor.  Glurin explains that it does more than just keep track of all the Cosmic Stigmatifiers, but that it can be used to locate every Muta-Cyrstal in the multiverse.


Turtle Tips:

*The Turtles last encountered the C.O.W.-Boys in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #32.  This story continues directly into Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #58.

*This story takes place sometime between TMNT (Vol. 4) #11 and TMNT (Vol. 4) #12.

*Casey first used Glurin’s Dimensional Gridshift Unit in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #17.

*Cudley the Cowlick hales from the Archie TMNT Adventures universe.  The Turtles of that universe first met him in TMNT Adventures #7.

*The Utromi Preservi first appeared in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #6, in the back-up story “The Raisin”.

*Raph and Donatello are astonished to find evil Utroms exist, but they previously fought a different splinter faction of nefarious Utroms, the Illuminated Utrom Alliance, in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #23.

*This issue also included a back-up story, “The Mission” by Dan Berger, and a bonus pin-up, “A Cowboy, a Cowlick and a Cowabunga!” by Adam Riches.


Review:

If the past chapters in the Moo Mesa arc had too little story, this installment suffers from having way too much.  An excess of characters are thrown at us in rapid succession and not all of them contribute anything particularly meaningful.

Cudley the Cowlick from Archie’s TMNT Adventures making an appearance was a big deal, but it boils down to nothing more than a gratuitous, nostalgia-fueled cameo.  He does absolutely nothing.  Jose Rey pops up and says, “By the way, have you met my pal Cudley the Cowlick?”  Cudley then proceeds to hang out in the background until he’s needed to taxi Ola away at the very end.  He’ll do a little more in the concluding chapter, but still nothing meaningful enough to warrant his inclusion.  I guess the temptation to include Cudley the Cowlick in a story featuring the Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa was too powerful to deny, but it’s still a pointless bit of fan pandering.

Then there’s Ola, who exists to do nothing other than deliver a boatload of exposition right before the issue wraps up.  There’s no foreshadowing to her existence; she doesn’t make any veiled appearances at the start of the issue or anything like that.  No narrative buildup whatsoever.  She’s just a weird alien who shows up at the very last possible minute to explain the plot to everyone because none of it made any sense.

Even the C.O.W.-Boys barely play a role in what’s supposed to be a crossover with them.  They just sort of mope around at the edge of the group, spouting generic dialogue and joining in the big fight; again, not really contributing much to the runaway story.

Murphy does, at least, try to tie a number of other concepts from earlier stories together into this one issue.  The Sacred Crystal Shard was the deus ex machina of the previous Moo Mesa chapters and the alien origin provided here nicely compliments the “folk tale” origin Jose Rey gave for it back in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #21.  The Utromi Preservi from the Professor Obligado back-up strips get a meatier role as villains in this story and we’ll see some more characters from those strips in the last chapter of the arc, so I guess those Obligado strips were good for something.  The mention of the Gridshifter also pigeonholes this story into a specific point during Volume 4.  Kind of weird when you look at this Moo Mesa arc as a whole and realize how each encounter was separated by quite a few years (in the first one, Splinter was still in “daddy” mode, grounding the Turtles).

Talbot seemed to have lettered this thing in a hurry, though.  Raph gets Don’s lines and Don gets Raph’s lines on more than one occasion and there are some spelling and grammatical errors in the dialogue (“What do can you tell us about these poor citizens?”).  These errors aren’t normally a big deal, but they don’t do much to take the edge off the rushed, overstuffed plot and all the thin characterization.

As you can see, I haven’t been a big supporter of these Moo Mesa crossovers.  They’re just not well-plotted or well-scripted and this two-part finale is a hell of a mess.  Dario Brizuela’s art is quite honestly the only thing worthwhile about this whole fiasco.


Grade: D (as in, “Did Casey really just make a ‘Cow Pattie’ joke?  Ugh, I thought this thing couldn’t get any worse…”)

Tales of Alternate Turtles on the Moon!

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Originally published in: Turtle Soup (Vol. 2) #2
Publication date: December, 1991

Story and art: Don Simpson
Colors: Steve Lavigne

“Tales of Alternate Turtles on the Moon!”

Summary:

Part 1:

Down at Ye Olde Scurrilous Pub on the wharf, the Alternate Turtles are groaning about their fate.  They were employed as understudies of the Ninja Turtles, but hardly ever get any work because the TMNT keep hogging the spotlight.  Suddenly, Captain Scaley-Beard of the Jolly Deathtrap approaches them with a job offer.  He says he bought a treasure map off a local drunk and needs a crew to go retrieve the booty. 

The Alternate Turtles are incredulous, so Scaley-Beard explains.  Apparently, the drunk was once a pirate who helped steal some Martian treasure and buried it on the moon.  Except after it was buried, all the pirates double-crossed each other and there was a slaughter.  The drunk managed to escape with his life, the only survivor, but was too injured to ever go back.  The Alternate Turtles glimpse a knife planted in the drunk’s back and politely decline Scaley-Beard’s offer.  They’re subsequently bashed over the heads and shanghaied.

The Alternate Turtles awaken on the Jolly Deathtrap, a wooden rocket ship headed for the moon.  Upon landing, Scaley-Beard marches his crew out and orders them to start digging until they find the treasure.  The Alternate Turtles get to work, at least until a second group of pirates attack, intent on stealing the treasure.

Part 2:


With no weapons to defend themselves, the Alternate Turtles hightail it to a nearby crate and hide.  In the crater, they find the skeletons of several dead pirates and a big ole X.  Digging up the X, they find the lost treasure and figure they’ll just take it for themselves.

Meanwhile, Scaley-Beard and his crew have eliminated the interlopers.  As soon as Scaley-Beard wonders where the Alternate Turtles have gone, he spots them taking off in the Jolly Deathtrap.  Scaley-Beard orders his crew to give pursuit in the ship that belonged to the interlopers.

Inside the Jolly Deathtrap, the Alternate Turtles and the bridge crew (nothing but babes in bikinis) break open the treasure chest to find it filled with potato chips.  Scaley-Beard hails the ship and says that chips are the greatest treasure in the galaxy.  The pirate opens fire and the Alternate Turtles think fast.  They launch all the chips at Scaley-Beard’s ship, clogging his warp drive intakes and blowing the villain to smithereens.  Unfortunately, the Alternate Turtles don’t know how to land a spaceship and brace for impact as they reenter Earth’s atmosphere.

Later, the Alternate Turtles find themselves stranded in a forest.  Still, it’s not so bad.  As they’re surrounded by the shapely female members of the bridge crew, they figure that while the Ninja Turtles get all the franchising dough, the Alternate Turtles get all the ladies.


Turtle Tips:

*Don Simpson previously wrote an adventure starring his version of the TMNT in Shell Shock, “Teen Techno Turtle Trio Plus One!

*The index mistakenly lists this story’s title as “Alternate Turtles on the Moon!”, missing the “Tales of”.

*Having been broken up into two parts, this story may have originally been planned to run in two separate issues.  For whatever reason, both parts were run back-to-back in the same issue.


Review:

Don Simpson’s follow-up to his first TMNT parody comic, “Teen Techno Turtle Trio Plus One!” just doesn’t quite hit the same mark, at least not for me.  It has the same sort of irreverent humor, poking fun at the out-of-control franchising that ran wild during Turtlemania, but the jokes just aren’t as snappy.

Instead, “Tales of Alternate Turtles on the Moon!” drapes itself in lunacy and random weirdness which, coming after the “Guest Era” of TMNT Volume 1, just wasn’t so unique anymore.  Wooden rocket ships and potato chip treasure… It reads more like a game of Mad Libs than a terribly clever story.

Simpson’s cartooning is still highly enjoyable and Lavigne’s coloring goes well with it.  Simpson renders the absurd visuals really well; my favorite sight gag being the skeleton’s of old timey pirates wearing space suits.  You know, like if Walt Disney World decided to combine Pirates of the Caribbean and Space Mountain into one ride.

Overall, this one just didn’t strike my funny bone as much as Simpson’s first go with the Alternate Turtles.  Not the worst so far as goofy, surreal TMNT parody comics go, but it doesn’t stand out by any great measure, either.


Grade: C (as in, “Can’t tell if ‘scaly’ was spelled wrong on purpose or not, though”.)

TMNT New Animated Adventures #5

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Publication date: November 20, 2013

Story: Kenny Byerly
Art: Adam Archer
Colors: Heather Breckel
Letters: Shawn Lee
Edits: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

On a luxury cruise in New York Harbor, notorious criminal Vitor Sousa (Sao Paola’s most powerful crimelord) is ready for a long vacation.  Suddenly, Fishface comes crashing through a window, ready to get revenge on Vitor (whom he knew in his Xever days).


Meanwhile, in the Turtle Sub, the TMNT are following up on a tip April received on her website about Fishface attacking the cruise.  They board the ship and follow the trail of screams to the engine room.  They rescue Vitor in the nick of time and lay a pounding on Fishface.  In the chaos, a live wire hits a ruptured fuel tank and there’s a huge explosion.  As the ship takes on water, the Captain orders all the passengers and crew to board the lifeboats.

In the confusion, the Turtles make an escape with Vitor.  As they make their way up, they ask why Fishface would want to kill him.  Vitor explains that he and Xever used to be a criminal duo in their younger days but had a falling out.  Xever had no ambitions beyond being a hired thug while Vitor desired to be a “legitimate businessman”.  Fishface bursts out of the knee-deep water and calls Vitor out on his lie.  He reveals that it was Vitor who sold him out when he was pulling the Oroku Saki job and got him sent to prison.  Because of Vitor, he joined the Foot Clan, and because of his association with the Foot Clan, he met the Turtles, and because of the Turtles, he was mutated into a freak.  Due to this poorly strung together logic, Fishface blames Vitor for his predicament and wants revenge.

Suddenly, the cruise ship turns over on its side.  Vitor uses the opportunity to escape, as do the Turtles (who find they’re no match for Fishface in the water).  A few moments later, they hear Vitor crying for help.  Leo wants to rescue him, but Raph insists there’s no point in saving a badguy who is just as likely to doublecross them.  Leo expresses that they aren’t just Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, they’re also Teenage Mutant HERO Turtles and that means they can’t be picky about who they rescue.  Leo, Don and Mike rush to help Vitor, but Raph chooses to go back to the Turtle Sub.


The Turtles find Vitor on the deck, clinging to the poles of a crow’s nest.  They climb out to help him and Vitor uses this opportunity to attack them.  He believes that if he takes out the Turtles, Fishface might leave him alone.  Fishface then shows up and says he’ll consider it (though not really).  They team up and as Vitor pounds on Mikey, Fishface incapacitates Leo and Don with his venomous bite.

Things look bleak until Raph arrives in the Turtle Sub, taking Fishface by surprise.  He snatches Fishface in the jaws of the Sub and drags him underwater.  Having endured enough madness, Vitor swims to the lifeboats and escapes.  Mike attempts to inoculate his brothers with the Fishface anti-venom, but drops it and has to swim for it as the cruise ship now completely submerges.

Underwater, Raph slams Fishface into the bridge of the ship, trapping him in wreckage.  The cruise ship then takes Fishface all the way to the bottom of the ocean.  Mike, meanwhile, nabs the anti-venom and administers it to his brothers as Raph comes to collect them in the Sub.


Later, back at the lair, Raph is all set to give Leo a huge “I told you so”.  Just then, April walks in and says that the tip Leo told her to phone-in to the cops worked like a charm: Vitor was promptly arrested as soon as the lifeboats docked.  Leo tells Raph that just because they have to save the badguys, that doesn’t mean they can’t bust them, too.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #4.  The story continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #6.

*The Turtle Sub first appeared in the episode “Karai’s Vendetta”.

*Fishface’s history was elaborated upon in the episode “Baxter’s Gambit”.

*Heh heh.  “Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles”.  You Europeans must be in stitches, right now (if, um, you got this comic distributed on your continent… which you don’t).

*CHET ALERT: The fat cruise attendant Vitor elbows in the face on page 3 has a nametag reading “Chet”.  “Chet” is an Easter Egg thrown into numerous TMNT comics because… It just is!

*This issue was originally published with 2 variant covers: Regular Cover by Dario Brizuela and Cover RI by “Mr. Charlie”.


Review:

Of all of Byerly’s issues of New Animated Adventures, this one read the fastest to me.  It really doesn’t waste any time with the setup, practically starting in medias res, and jumps straight into the action.  It’s swiftly paced, but that isn’t necessarily a knock against it, either.  Sometimes it’s nice to have a story where the action moves so fluidly you wonder where the time went.

This one is a focus on Fishface, though it doesn’t really offer any insights into his character.  There’s a reference to his backstory from the cartoon, but the connection with Vitor doesn’t add any new layers to the villain, it just gives him a tenuous excuse for revenge.  It’s a bit like the spotlight Dogpound received in the previous issue in that it highlights him as a villain, but doesn’t tell us anything about him that we don’t already know.  Not all comics can be deeply introspective, I’ll concede.

The lesson Byerly imparts with this issue isn’t perhaps his smoothest or subtlest (the characters have a page-long conversation in the middle of the issue, debating the pros and cons of this message).  That aside, I did get a fanboy giggle out of the “Ninja Turtles” vs. “Hero Turtles” argument and Mikey’s constant badgering about what an awful name the latter is.  Even if you aren’t familiar with the Easter Egg, Byerly actually works the reference in rather intuitively, as Leo is the one who suggests the title as he goes into cornball “Space Heroes” mode.  It was fitting and didn’t stick out as obvious fanwank, I don’t think.

And for the first time in New Animated Adventures, we have a different artist!  It looks like we’re going to be getting a few fill-in artists to offer Brizuela some relief in the upcoming months and I’m cool with that.  It’s refreshing to get a visual changeup every now and then.  Adam Archer has produced a couple of variant covers for the series so far, but this is his first full issue.  While his layouts aren’t the most elaborate, he provides some solid pencils with a more exaggerated style than Brizuela’s.  The characters are a bit cartoonier when they emote (Fishface in particular) and there are some triumphant moments of kinetic energy (Fishface getting slammed into the bridge of the ship on pages 20-21).  When characters drift to the background they lose detail, and while that’s perfectly understandable, there are moments when it looks just a little too crude (page 10, panel 2 almost hilariously so).  Be that as it may, it’s still a good-looking issue and a nice change of pace.

This issue had a weaker conflict than the past couple of issues and probably isn’t the comic’s strongest showing, but it’s not bad by any means.  Anybody enjoying the series so far is going to dig this issue, too, and that’s just fine.


Grade: C+ (as in, “Can I thank Archer, though, for drawing April with reasonable feet?”)
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