Michelangelo: The Third Kind #2

April 13, 2014, 10:21 am

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Publication date: October, 2008

Story and art: Jim Lawson

Inks and letters: Eric Talbot

Cover: Jim Lawson and Steve Lavigne

“The Third Kind, Part 2”

Summary:

Making his way through the alleys, Mikey figures he’s in no shape to fight anybody else (having been hit by a bus a few days ago and now having been maced).  He sees a group of thugs wearing alien grey masks curb-stomping a kid in a Star Trek t-shirt.  With no choice, Mikey intervenes and beats up the thugs. 

After they run off, Klag swoops down on a hovercraft, having followed Mikey to make sure he got home safely.  Klag gives Mikey a lift to a rooftop and tells him that they met once before.  Klag was a guard at the TCRI building when the Turtles returned from the Triceraton Homeworld.  When the Utroms began prepping Earth for First Contact several years in advance, Klag signed up to live amongst humanity in disguise.  He gives Mikey a communicator in case he ever needs to get in touch with the Utroms and the two part ways again.

At Barry’s mom’s apartment, Detective Clover meets up with Officer Murphy to investigate the body.  They go through the list of possible causes of death and settle on murder, with Barry being needed for questioning (although they have no motive).  Detective Clover sees the old lady’s cat with a dish named “Roswell” and starts to get edgy.  The city has been in an uproar since First Contact and all the paranoia has gotten her anxious.  She pulls out a picture of Mikey from the Pier 41 riot and says that the aliens claim to be cooperative, yet they allow one of their own to run around the city unregistered.

Mikey makes his way across the rooftops when he notices more of the masked thugs putting up flyers.  He jumps down the streets and reads one.  The flyer encourages citizens to report aliens for execution and is signed by H.A.A.R.M. (Humans Against Aliens Resistance Movement).  Infuriated, Mikey enters the middle of the street and yells for the thugs to come and get him (frightening several pedestrians).  A number of masked thugs descend upon Mikey and he realizes he’s in no shape for a confrontation, especially one that would make aliens look dangerous in front of a crowd.  Mikey flees into the sewers before the H.A.A.R.M. thugs can catch him.

Entering the lair, he’s greeted by his brothers as well as the alien Ambassador from Pier 41 (flanked by several Utrom bodyguards).  The Ambassador tells Mikey he stopped by his home to thank him for defending him at the riot.  He has received numerous threats on his life from gangs like the Madhattan Maulitia and H.A.A.R.M. and is happy to see an Earthling trying to help him for a change.  Leonardo offers to protect the Ambassador fulltime, but the Ambassador declines.  He feels that if he is to gain the trust of the people, then he must be seen working with legitimate Earth authorities.

After he leaves, the Turtles have a discussion about just how the Ambassador and the Utroms found their “secret” lair.  Mikey swears he wasn’t followed, but Leo suspects the Fugitoid probably gave them directions.  Donatello and Raphael call attention to a news report on TV.  Apparently, in the wake of all the anti-alien violence, National Guard troops have entered the city and the Mayor has issued a curfew.  Leonardo tells his brothers that Mikey has caused enough bad publicity for aliens and that they need to stay in the lair until the situation settles.

In an alley up above, Detective Clover and her partner are investigating another murder.  This time, it’s a Guerrotopsian (an alien that “sees” through the eyes of other lifeforms around it).  They pull a .38 slug from the tentacled corpse and Detective Clover figures this is the first murder of an alien since First Contact occurred only two days ago.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Michelangelo: The Third Kind #1.  The story continues in Michelangelo: The Third Kind #3.

*Mikey was hit by a bus in TMNT (Vol. 4) #1.

*Klag mentions having met Mikey back when the Turtles returned from the Triceraton Homeworld to the TCRI building via the transmat in TMNT (Vol. 1) #7.  The editor’s note mistakenly identifies that event as having happened in TMNT (Vol. 1) #4, but there’s no saying Klag wasn’t present in that issue, too.

*The Turtles showed the Fugitoid down to their lair in TMNT (Vol. 4) #5.

Review:

“The Third Kind” is… slow.  Really, really slow.  It is an interesting look at how the world of the Mirage universe changed in-between pages of TMNT Volume 4, but it is not a very thrilling narrative.  I can only recommend “The Third Kind” to the most hardcore Ninja Turtle fans who are already well-versed in the lore of the comics, because this story doesn’t stand a chance of exciting newcomers.  As a hardcore TMNT fan well-versed in the comics, I personally enjoy the miniseries for what it offers to the ongoing development of this world, but I’ll be the first to tell you it’s pretty damn boring.

Michelangelo actually gets some attention in his own miniseries starting with this chapter.  Here we see him suffering the fallout of his stupid mistake at Pier 41.  I was really disappointed that the alien Ambassador visiting the lair didn’t tear into him for all the trouble he caused, but instead chose to thank him for coming to his aid (when really it was Klag who got the Ambassador to safety). 

Michelangelo set off the powder keg at the event which was meant to be a show of good will and cooperation; proof that the alien visitors were obeying the orders and limitations given to them by the Earth government.  Michelangelo pretty well fucked that up for them, getting a lot of people hurt and “proving” to the people that aliens were breaking travel restrictions and hiding out amongst humans.  And at a media event, no less.  Michelangelo made a HUGE mistake and really shouldn’t be thanked for jack shit.

Barry’s subplot has now shifted over to Detective Clover, further showcasing how average people are dealing with this situation.  It’s slow, plodding stuff.  Lawson’s dialogue is the same as it ever was.  Way back when I reviewed TMNT Volume 2, I remarked that Lawson wrote dialogue by abusing humming noises for “realism”; characters are constantly going “Mmmm”, “Ummmm” and “Hmmmm”.  It is really obnoxious and 15 years later, he’s still doing it.

We’re halfway across “The Third Kind” and while I’m digging all the atmosphere it’s setting up, the characters remain dull as dishwater and the dialogue is even worse.  So it’s give and take.

Grade: C+ (as in, “Clover’s partner… does he have a glass eye or did Talbot just fuck up the inks on Lawson’s pencils?”)

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Michelangelo: The Third Kind #3

April 14, 2014, 4:41 pm

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Publication date: November, 2008

Story and art: Jim Lawson

Inks and letters: Eric Talbot

Cover: Jim Lawson and Steve Lavigne

“The Third Kind, Part 2”

Summary:

With New York City under curfew and the National Guard moving in to try and quell the unrest, gang violence and looting begins to break out.  H.A.A.R.M. members seem to be at the epicenter of the worst of it, even going so far as to bomb power substations in addition to looting shops.

Mikey gets a call from Klag to meet him in Union Square and leaves the lair (against Leo’s orders).  Klag picks him up on his hovercraft and tells him that he’s been researching H.A.A.R.M. and has found out where their headquarters is (Oberon Bros. Garage) and who their leader is (a guy named Jingo).  Klag wants to try and talk things out with Jingo but asks Mike to come with him in case things get violent.  Things get violent as soon as they approach the garage and while Mikey and Klag fight off the thugs, Jingo flees.

At the same time, weird energy rings appear above the city.  Ambassador Cesse Mon Zir Te comes on TV to tell the public that the rings were an atmospheric after-effect of a scan for weapons of mass destruction.  He explains that the scan was performed with the cooperation and approval of the US Government and the energies that were used would cause no harm to anybody.  Nevertheless, this puts people on edge.  The news then picks up a story about a strange object appearing in Central Park.  The NYPD evacuates and cordons off the park until the situation can be examined.

After dark, Mikey sneaks into the park to get a look at the weird monolith.  He imagines that it might be a giant box containing a killer robot, but snaps out of his daydream when he notices a signature at the bottom of the monolith.  Mikey hears voices and flees to the trees.  Jingo and a mob of H.A.A.R.M. thugs come storming in with a small alien in tow.  Jingo gives a speech about taking back America from their cowardly government and suggests they start by lynching the alien on his own monolith.

Mikey drops down from the trees and protects the alien from the thugs.  Suddenly, Detective Clover appears from the bushes, flashes her badge and all the H.A.A.R.M. thugs (and the little alien) scamper off.  Clover tells Mikey that the monolith was a piece of modern art stolen from a recent exhibit.  Jingo and his H.A.A.R.M. lackeys put it in Central Park to stir up trouble and unrest.  Clover then tells Mikey that he’s still wanted for being an unregistered “alien” and pulls out a pair of handcuffs.  Mikey immediately vanishes into the night.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Michelangelo: The Third Kind #2.  The story continues in Michelangelo: The Third Kind #4.

Review:

Well, the most exciting part of this issue turned out to be a daydream sequence (the giant robot), so we’re still in dullsville with “The Third Kind”.  There are a lot of interesting ideas floating around in here, like the City being under lockdown with xenophobic gangs rioting and blowing up buildings and the citizenry panicking as aliens scan the skies… But damn if Lawson isn’t sapping all the life out of it.  I know he’s going for a really grounded look at the whole scenario, but it’s hard to believe such a tumultuous period in the TMNT timeline can yield such a tiresome yarn.

And most of the metaphor and subtext is pretty on-the-nose, particularly in regards to the character Jingo.  So we have a guy with a name that invokes the term “jingoism” giving long-winded anti-government speeches about taking back America from the bureaucratic fatcats in Washington.  And I think he’s a black guy maybe (hard to tell with his model fluctuating in every panel), so the scene where he tries to rally a mob to lynch an innocent alien is supposed to be, like, cruel irony or something.  Yeah, real deep, man.

I guess if one good thing came from this chapter, it’s that Mikey’s screw-up at Pier 41 is finally catching up with him.  I complained last issue that Mikey shouldn’t have been thanked for causing a huge publicity crisis for the aliens and here he’s actually being invited to suffer the legal consequences for his behavior.  He bails, of course.

Ah well, we’re nearly at the finish line for this thing.

Grade: C- (as in, “Can’t say I find a giant killer robot LESS horrifying than a modern art sculpture.  I work at a college and that shit is littered around the campus like breadcrumbs”.)

Michelangelo: The Third Kind #4

April 15, 2014, 6:11 pm

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Publication date: December, 2008

Story and art: Jim Lawson

Inks and letters: Eric Talbot

Cover: Jim Lawson and Steve Lavigne

“The Third Kind, Part 4”

Summary:

Strolling down the street, Michelangelo meets up with Klag (who is wearing a “skin suit” to disguise himself as a human).  Klag tells Mike that he called him with urgent news: H.A.A.R.M. has placed bombs all over the city and is threatening to detonate them unless Ambassador Cesse Mon Zir Te is handed over to them for execution.  Mike asks why the Utroms don’t just do a weapons scan on the city like before, but Klag says the atmospheric rings would tip off H.A.A.R.M. and they’d detonate the explosives.  Klag asks Mikey to come with him to the park where they’ll be making the exchange and try to help him resolve the conflict bloodlessly.  Mikey hops on the hovercraft and they vamoose.

At a park near the docks, Klag parks his hovercraft and tells Mikey that he has to coordinate the NYPD standing guard, but asks Mikey to keep watch in case things go sour.  Mikey finds the H.A.A.R.M. mob in a clearing as the Utroms deliver the Ambassador to them.  Jingo then comes strolling to the center of the clearing to the tune of a standing ovation from his loyal followers.  Jingo asks them to settle down, as he has a speech to deliver.

Jingo says that he’s taken the time to reflect on his behavior and has come to the conclusion that he was motivated out of fear and distrust.  However, he says he realized that in order to move forward as a person, he needed to overcome that fear.  He tells the crowd that they, too, need to overcome their fear and accept the change with an open mind. 

Barry erupts from the crowd, saying that the aliens have brainwashed Jingo and pulls a gun on the Ambassador.  Before he can fire, Mikey knocks it from his hand with a shuriken and asks Jingo to finish his speech.  Jingo simply says that they must overcome their basic urges to fight and lash out with violence so that they can learn and grow as a people.  The Ambassador shakes his hand, settling the feud.  Detective Clover and the NYPD then take Barry into custody.  Clover sees Mikey disappear into the woods but, after having witnessed him save the Ambassador’s life, chooses not to pursue him.  Mikey waits for Klag by the hovercraft but when he doesn’t show, he decides to fly it back to the Moon-Island.

Landing the craft, Mikey hears a thumping from the trunk.  Opening it, he finds the real Jingo bound and gagged.  Klag then approaches him and explains that he was the "Jingo" who gave the speech, having worn a skin suit in Jingo’s likeness.  Klag apologizes for the deception, but says he felt that it was the only way to quell the violence and inspire the people to reconsider their opinions.  Mike asks what will become of Jingo and Klag says he will have his memory of the incident wiped before being returned home unharmed.  Mike suggests that Jingo will simply go back to being a bigoted hatemonger, but Klag assures Mikey that humanity possesses the ability to change more than any of them realize.

The End.

Back-up story:

“Life on Earth”

Story, art, inks and letters: Jim Lawson

Traveling in a hover-van from the Moon-Island, a pair of Utroms drop off a small, tentacled alien (the same on who was almost lynched) and wish him well on his daytrip to New York City.  As the alien silently traverses the city, he bears witness to a number of reactions.  Protestors yell at him, cabbies tell him to get out of the way, oblivious businessmen mistake him for an ashtray, dogs pee on him, girls flash him, tourists crowd him for photos and street musicians tell him to get off their turf.

At last, the alien crosses paths with a homeless man.  The bum looks into the creature’s face and his eyes glow with enlightenment as he witnesses the broader scope of the whole universe.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Michelangelo: The Third Kind #3.

*Klag will appear again in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #62.

Review:

And so “The Third Kind” just sort of… ends.  All of the characters, story arcs and concepts were set up in advance in this miniseries and nothing feels out of the blue or anything.  It just sort of starts and stops and starts and stops and then ends.  The pacing of the narrative is bumpy with odd time gaps between chapters and includes characters who just sort of appear and disappear with varying degrees of importance.  I mean, just look at Barry.  He got the lion’s share of attention in the first issue then disappeared altogether for the middle of the series and then appears suddenly here at the end and has his storyline resolved.  Detective Clover was looking like she might have a big impact on the storyline but her conflict with Mikey is resolved with a silent nod.

It’s a clumsy read, as characters drift in and out of the story with lopsided amounts of attention and even Michelangelo is just sort of there.  He takes orders from Klag and helps save the day, but his dialogue is dry and lifeless, pretty much just going through the motions.  Jim Lawson wanted to tell a story about prejudice on a global scale and Michangelo is merely along for the ride.  That’s fine, since First Contact is much bigger than the Ninja Turtles and they very much ARE “just along for the ride” in this scenario… but man does it make for a dull read.

And yet, there are moments that I really love.  This issue starts with Michelangelo just cold walking down the street in broad daylight and totally not giving a fuck.  It’s something he’s never been able to do before in his life and he is taking absolutely NO joy in the experience.  H.A.A.R.M. thugs try to attack him, pedestrians either scream or chatter behind his back… He finally gets to socialize and be amongst the people as himself and it blows.  Lawson doesn’t spell it out with an internalized monologue or anything and the scene doesn’t go on for too long; you just observe it and you can tell exactly how Michelangelo is feels.  This is everything he thought he wanted his whole life and it’s nothing like he imagined it would be.

The twist ending with Klag masquerading as Jingo came not so much as a surprise but felt like more or less the only means to resolve the conflict.  It was deceptive, but presented as a case of the ends justifying the means.  Taking a messiah-like entity and having him sing a different tune in order to sway the masses was pretty fitting strategy from the Utroms; a non-violent solution though one that poses an ethical dilemma.  

At the same time, however, “The Third Kind” is very much a Big Picture kind of story.  New York City is just one city in the whole world; there are 6 billion people reacting to First Contact and the Utroms are likely going to have to deal with the same issues all over the globe.  And with a one year deadline, they can’t really take the time to gradually coax the masses into coming around at their own pace.  Subverting the populace by masquerading as influential figures has a "They Live" feel to it, yeah, but it gets the job done without killing anybody.

“The Third Kind” is also a lot of preaching.  Lawson goes on and on about how awful humanity is with the attitude of someone whining, "God, aren't people just the WORST?"  But unless I’ve been mistaken all these years, I figure Lawson is a human being, too.  It’s this holier than thou shtick that you get from a lot of folks who generalize humanity as being inherently evil or selfish or cruel or bigoted… all of humanity except the people preaching against humanity because they know better, right?  “Everybody is awful but me”, that sort of attitude.  At the end of the day, Lawson is trying to lead his readers to a very simple conclusion (“Racism Bad.  Change Good”) but takes a ponderously long-winded route to get there with a lengthy diversion through Narcissism Country.

As for the back-up, it summarizes the message Lawson spent four issues running into the ground with only four near-wordless pages.  "Everyone on Earth is terrible except one guy and that one guy is totally enlightened and understands the universe better than everyone else." Or maybe it was something about an open mind or whatever and I'm just being cynical, I dunno.

Anyway, “The Third Kind” is a bore but it shows us the sweeping change in the Mirage universe that before now had merely been summarized in a narrative caption.  Because of the broad scope the actual Turtles feel like small fish in a big pond, which isn’t out of line, but it makes for a dull, plodding yarn.  So this was a boring comic that told an important story.  Do the ends justify the means?  Presumably Klag would think so.

Grade: C- (as in, “Can’t say that I’m not personally guilty of standing on a soapbox and preaching my opinions to people.  This is a blog, after all”.)

Awesome Turtle Picture #31

April 16, 2014, 2:05 pm

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In retrospect, this probably should've been Awesome Turtle Picture #30, but unfortunately I couldn't see into the future when I did that one.

So IDW's TMNT 30th Anniversary Special is still a few months away, but they've released a look at all 12 variant covers (because at IDW, it's ALWAYS 1994!).  There are some familiar faces in there, such as Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, Chris Allan, Dario Brizuela and more.  But who takes the cake?

Ozzy Fernandez and Tony Kordos with their Heroes' Haven exclusive cover:

I'm a sucker for Playmates action figure goodness and this right here as about as good as it gets.

Well, that's not 100% true.  It lacks Pizzaface.  Though I think Fernandez and Kordos were limiting themselves to characters who appeared in the Fred Wolf cartoon, but using their Playmates character designs.  So I can excuse the omission of Pizzaface on that account.

The Last of the Viking Heroes Limited Edition

April 19, 2014, 8:22 pm

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Originally published by: Genesis West Comics
Publication date: May, 1992

Contents:

*The Last of the Viking Heroes Summer Special #1
*The Last of the Viking Heroes Summer Special #2
*The Last of the Viking Heroes Summer Special #3


Turtle Tips:

*Only the second and third Summer Special contain any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles content (although the first Summer Special has a sweet Frank Frazette cover).  As such, I won't be reviewing the first issue.

*Not collected is the third and final crossover between the TMNT and the Viking Heroes, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle", published in Turtle Soup (Vol. 2) #4.

*This collected edition, in addition to the new cover, also features a number of TMNT pin-ups and spreads by Mike Thibodeaux exclusive to this release.

*This collection was limited to only 1750 copies, each individually numbered and signed by Thibodeaux.

The Last of the Viking Heroes Summer Special #2

April 20, 2014, 8:51 am

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Published by: Genesis West Comics

Publication date: April, 1990

Drawn and written by: Michael Thibodeaux

Inked by: Michael Thibodeaux and Marty Lasick

Colored by: Linda Yamasaki, Richard French, Michael Thibodeaux

Lettered by: Richard French

Front cover by: Michael Thibodeaux and Richard French

Special thanks to: Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird

Summary:

Part 1: “Tomgar”

The teenage Jon is a crappy magician.  He attempts to entertain a band of drunken mercenaries (Sigvald, Blackthorn, Slagfinn and Gravit) but they hate his antics and attempt to kill him.  The warrior Tomgar comes to his rescue and the two friends stride away, with the beaten mercenaries swearing to get even with Jon.

Part 2: “The Potion?”

Jon goes to visit his mentor, the wizard Zon, to ask for a sleeping potion.  It’s Jon’s birthday and after he parties all day, he wants to make sure he can sleep all night.  Zon gives him the sleeping potion plus an additional gift: A special potion that will give him the power to deal with any situation.  He simply has to drink it and the potion will do the rest.  Jon thanks Zon and leaves.

Part 3: “Birthday Surprise!”

Jon meets up with Tomgar, Erik and Sven at a tavern to celebrate his birthday.  They each give him gifts: Erik gives him a volume from his little black book collection (just A to C), Tomgar gives him a sack of ninja weapons he pillaged from the Orient, and Sven gives him a specially prepared bowl of turtle soup.  Jon likes the turtle soup so much that he mixes it with the potion Zon gave him to improve the flavor.

Jon notices a fair wench named Glissandra and invites her to sit with him.  Unfortunately, she’s only interested in the dashing Erik.  Undeterred, Jon takes a drop of Zon’s potion, hoping it will make him extra charming.  It knocks him out cold, instead (because he took the sleeping potion by mistake).  As Tomgar takes him upstairs to sleep, the mercenaries look on and await their chance for revenge.

As Tomgar sets Jon down, Gravit sneaks up on him and knocks him out.  Jon wakes up in time to see the mercenaries do the same to Erik and Sven.  He quickly takes some of Zon’s potion so he can protect his friends.  Thanks to the turtle soup he mixed in with the potion, and the ninja weapons he received as a gift, Jon mutates into… a teenage mutant ninja turtle!

The mutated Jon makes short work of the mercenaries, knocking them all out.  Zon then comes storming in and with a blast of magic he restores Jon.  He admonishes Jon for changing the formula of his potion, as even the slightest change could bring about disaster.  Jon whines that all he did was add some turtle soup for flavor, but Zon explains, “The combination of mutagen and turtles are reserved for future wizards.  I believe their names will be Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird”.

Epilogue

Tomgar and the others come to.  Tomgar is furious and wants to kill the mercenaries, but sees they’re out cold.  He wakes up Sigvald and demands to know who beat them up before he could have the chance.  Sigvald says that it was Jon and runs away screaming, thinking Jon a monster.

Turtle Tips:

*The next Viking Heroes/TMNT crossover will occur in The Last of the Viking Heroes Summer Special #3 (and it’ll be a REAL crossover, this time).

*This issue was collected in The Last of the Viking Heroes Limited Edition.

*Although the “teenage mutant ninja turtle” who appears in this issue is not one of THE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the indicia credits Eastman, Laird and Mirage Studios for giving permission to use the character likeness and the franchise name.

Review:

These Viking Heroes crossover are the last of the weird little indie comic guest appearances by the TMNT that I own.  I saved them for last because I just wasn’t that interested in reading them, much less reviewing them.  But now that I’m at the bottom of the barrel I’m not exactly spoiled for choice.

To my surprise, these comics are a lot of fun with some GREAT artwork by Michael Thibodeaux.  Reading up on the Viking Heroes series, it apparently attracted a lot of A-list guest contributors, such as Jack Kirby, John Byrne and George Perez.  So back in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, the Viking Heroes were a big deal.  I guess.  Their comic got cancelled after 12 issues and 3 specials, so you know.

I'm not familiar with any of these characters, but that was surprisingly not an issue for me, as every member of the cast is a pastiche of some other fantasy comic adventurer.  Tomgar might as well be Conan while his buddies, Erik and Sven, are less-than-subtle stand-ins for Mighty Thor supporting characters Fandral and Hogun (I presume there’s also a pastiche of Volstagg somewhere else in the series).  So long as you can project those characters onto these knock-offs, you can pick up the book and go without any trouble.

The inclusion of a “teenage mutant ninja turtle” struck me as being a last minute sales-boosting gimmick.  Thibodeaux actually includes a look at the original cover by Marty Lasick as a bonus feature and guess what?  It shows Jon transforming into a generic monster, NOT a ninja turtle.  The ninja turtle gag was tacked on, for sure, but Thibodeaux manages to work the joke into the script and set it up so it feels more or less organic.

It’s a short moment and fans expecting an actual crossover with the REAL Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might walk away feeling they’ve been flimflammed by the cover.  If it’s any consolation, there’ll be two more Viking Heroes/TMNT crossovers after this one and those will actually BE crossovers.  So while this story isn’t exactly essential, and doesn’t actually include a real Ninja Turtle, Thibodeaux got permission from Eastman and Laird to use the name and likeness, so I guess in some way it “counts” as an official appearance.

Grade: B- (as in, “Batman also makes a silly cameo in this comic as an alternate identity for Jon, but I forgot to summarize it”.)

TMNT (1987) Season 4, Part 7: Review

April 22, 2014, 12:56 pm

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And lo, I have completed season 4 of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon produced by Fred Wolf.  As it happens, this is the first season of the series to end without a proper season finale.  Bummer.

TMNT (1987) Season 4, Part 7 Review at Adventures in Poor Taste.

There are some real gems in this batch of episodes.  I absolutely love "Splinter Vanishes" for its Leatherhead/Rat King team-up and "The Foot Soldiers Are Revolting" remains one of the funniest episodes in the entire series.  "Big Bug Blunder" is a bit in the middle, but is memorable for bringing back Metalhead and Genghis Frog for another go.

The rest of the episodes aren't so hot and some are downright incomprehensible ("Beyond the Donatello Nebula" is a jigsaw puzzle of an episode thanks to errors at every step of production).  A shame they didn't air "The Foot Soldiers Are Revolting" as the season finale; it might have actually worked in that regard.  Instead, we get "Unidentified Flying Leonardo", where an ambiguously gay cowboy tries to solve world hunger and the Turtles kick the shit out of him because that would destroy capitalism.

YOO ESS AYE!  YOO ESS AYE!

TMNT (IDW) #33

April 26, 2014, 10:03 am

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Publication date: April 23, 2014

Story: Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, Tom Waltz

Script: Tom Waltz

Art: Mateus Santolouco

Colors: Ronda Pattison

Letters: Shawn Lee

Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

After dark in New York City, a trio of bank robbers attempt to abscond with the loot when they’re felled by the Turtles.  Mikey is thrilled to fight crime, but Leo reminds him that they’re just on a training exercise and that they AREN’T superheroes.

At Foot HQ, Hun reports to Shredder that under his orders, Bebop, Rocksteady and the Purple Dragons successfully knocked over an armored car and scored $500 grand.  Shredder congratulates Hun and informs him that he’ll be leaving for a “business trip” and in his absence, Karai will be in full command.  Shredder dismisses everyone but Hun, as he wishes to talk to the Purple Dragon about his son.

At the church lair, April is packing up Harold Lilja’s anti-gravity gauntlets whilst trying to convince Casey to go back to school.  Casey dodges the conversation and says he has to leave and check in with Angel at the Skara Brae.  The Turtles come home and Don asks April what’s the matter.  April explains that due to his injury, Casey lost his hockey scholarship.  She’s been trying to convince him to get financial aid and finish school anyway, but he hasn’t wanted to talk about it.  Don suggests that Casey’s probably still trying to work through his stuff with Hun.  And anyway, Don says he can relate to April, as he also feels like he’s been trying to tell everyone something important only to be ignored.  He has the schematics for the Fugitoid’s teleporter, but no one seems in a hurry to coordinate the resources to build it.

At the Skara Brae, Hun pays Brooklyn a visit.  Kid Kennedy and Ferguson try to strike up a conversation with Hun, but he shoos them away.  Hun demands to know where Angel and Casey are, but Brooklyn remains obstinate; not knowing where Casey is and making up a cover story to hide the fact that Angel is in his back room.  Brooklyn, a former Purple Dragon, insults Hun for sinking so low as to take orders from the man who nearly killed his own son.  Hun recalls his conversation with the Shredder…

Shredder reveals to him that he stabbed Casey.  It was part of a plot to use the boy and he had intended to merely use Hun, as well.  However, after Hun proved highly capable as a gang leader, Shredder chose to keep him around.  Shredder tells him that there is a place amongst the Foot for Casey, but Hun must be the one to invite him into the fold.  If Casey refuses, he will be treated as a threat to the Foot and hunted down accordingly…

In a rage, Hun attacks Brooklyn, prompting Kid, Ferguson and Angel to come to his rescue.  Hun tosses the two drunks aside and has a chat with Angel.  Angel also refuses to say where Casey is, but before Hun can beat the truth out of her, Casey steps into the bar.

Down in the lair, Leo goes to convene with Splinter.  He tells his sensei that Raph and Mikey have left on their mission while Don and April have gone to see Harold Lilja.  Splinter asks how his son is feeling and Leo expresses that he’s just happy to be back.  Splinter is pleased, as they don’t have much time before the Shredder realizes they’ve returned to New York and they must all be in prime condition.

Outside the Skara Brae, Hun explains the situation to Casey and implores him to abandon his mutant buddies and join the Foot.  Casey, of course, refuses.  Rather than get violent, Hun realizes that he can’t force his son to join.  Instead, he offers to give Casey a cut of the cash he’s stolen so his son can leave the city and start over somewhere far away.  Casey asks Hun that if he DID take the money and run, would he come with him?  Hun says no.  Casey tells his father that he isn’t going anywhere and the two part ways.

Inside the Skara Brae, Casey tries to smooth things over with Brooklyn, but the bar owner is furious.  He thinks that Angel and Casey have gotten in over their heads and now their actions have nearly destroyed his livelihood and his family.  Angel storms out of the bar and Casey follows her.

In an alley, Hun looks at an old photo of himself and Casey.  He makes his choice and crumples up the photo, throwing it away.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #32.  The story continues in TMNT (IDW) #34.

*Donatello received the message from the Fugitoid with the teleporter schematics in TMNT: Utrom Empire #3.

*Harold Lilja last appeared in TMNT (IDW) #26, which is when he leant April his anti-gravity gauntlets.

*This issue was originally published with 7 variant covers: Cover A by Santolouco, Cover B by Eastman and Pattison, Cover RI by Stephen Mooney, Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive with recycled art from Dan Duncan, Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive with recycled Eastman/Laird art from ’83, Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive with recycled Mirage staff jam session spread, Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive with recycled Eastman/Laird art from TMNT #50.

Review:

“Northampton” is over and we’re back to our regularly scheduled program.  This issue starts out fast, getting back into the swing of things as the Turtles return to all the ongoing story arcs they left simmering four months ago.  And all the better for this approach, too, since “Northampton” was essentially the breather arc after “City Fall” and I think we’ve all had enough chilling and twiddling our thumbs, right?

Before we get to the meat of this story (Casey and Hun), let’s talk about some of the other moments.  I recall way back near the start of the series, there was an issue where the Turtles mentioned “going on patrol”.  I can’t recall which issue it was; it was a while ago.  But that seemingly innocuous statement elicited some consternation from the fanbase, as the TMNT aren’t vigilante superheroes who go on nightly patrols, looking for crime to fight.  Leo’s and Mike’s conversation on that very subject at the start of this issue seemed like Waltz’s belated response to those concerns.  It sets the record straight, though the talk drags a bit and threatens to pierce the Fourth Wall.  I’ll just say that “Turtles on Patrol” isn’t one of my personal hot buttons, so I never got all up in arms about the situation either way.

There’s a weird imbalance in this issue regarding subtlety vs. “are you for real?”  In regards to the former, during April’s entire conversation with Casey and then Don, she’s seen packing up the anti-gravity gauntlets she borrowed from Harold.  They’re never addressed in the dialogue but they’re ever present in the image, particularly when April and Don segue into a discussion about getting help to build the Fugitoid’s teleporter.  At the end of the issue, Leo offhandedly mentions to Splinter that April and Don have gone to visit their “computer friend” and you can put two and two together on your own (they left to return the borrowed gauntlets and pitch the teleporter project).  It was all there, but required a smidgen of reading comprehension to pick up on and I appreciate the confidence in my cognitive faculties from the IDW stuff.

But then there’s all the expository dialogue where everyone inexplicably soliloquizes their life story to each other or suddenly feels compelled to tell their closest friends and confidants what their own names are (the bank robbers at the beginning).  Kid Kennedy and Ferguson, two of the more irritating hangers on from the 2012 TMNT Annual, are probably the worst in that regard.  While I know it’s nothing new in the world of comic book storytelling for characters to remind other characters about their names and histories for reader benefit, some of this stuff is pretty clumsy.  And man, Kid and Ferg’s dialogue is one marshmallow clover away from being a Lucky Charms commercial.

The real core of this issue is the interaction between Hun and Casey.  Their deal is complicated in a way that they can’t really maintain any sort of status quo as opposing forces without stretching the credibility of the narrative.  So I’m really glad it was the first thing Waltz chose to address after getting things going again.  While I don’t think the turmoil is necessarily stabilized between the two (far from it, I’m sure), their animosity has reached an understanding so both sides can continue down their paths without the reader having to constantly stop and ask “But what about this?  But what about that?”

What I liked best about their father-son chat was the direction Waltz chose to take it in, or rather, the direction he chose NOT to take it in.  After seeing Stephen Mooney’s variant cover, I was fully expecting there to be some violent showdown between the two.  When Hun grabbed Casey’s arm at the end of page 17, all I could think was “Yep, here it comes”.  And then… a complete U-turn and a nonviolent resolution.  It’s not just because this was the unexpected way to go, but because on a storytelling level it was the RIGHT way to go.  Hun has been priding himself on his “reformation” and along with abstaining from alcohol, he’s also sworn off beating his son.  He continues that attitude of being a “better person” by talking things out with Casey regardless of how heated their discussion becomes, which serves to make him that much more interesting and relatable a character.

The dialogue, again, spells it out a bit too much for the reader, but there’s a lot in here about choices; selfishness vs. selflessness and how to truly differentiate between the two.  Hun, shortly after learning that Shredder had planned to discard him but only elected to keep him around because of his dependability, offers to put his reputation at stake to keep his son safe.  He says he’s willing to give Casey money, make up a cover story for him and help him get out of the city so he can start over.  On the surface, that does seem like a very selfless and caring thing to do.  But then Casey asks if he’ll come with him and Hun has to make another choice… and he chooses to stay behind with the Foot because, from his perspective, it’s the Foot that have revitalized him and made him a better person.  So when push comes to shove, he’s STILL choosing himself over his son; an ultimately selfish decision.

I’m wondering where all these bombshells are going to send Casey.  In addition to coming to an “understanding” with his father and drawing the battle lines in the sand, he’s also lost his scholarship due to his injuries (and he’d been struggling to keep that scholarship since the first year of this book).  He’s lost his dad and he’s lost his scholarship and heck, even Brooklyn kicked him out of the Skara Brae and he’s now essentially lost his old “neighborhood”, too.  Casey’s been a bit too mellow in this comic and he’s spent a LOT of time on the sidelines for the past year or more (excluded from “Krang War”, stuck in the hospital for almost all of “City Fall”, chilling in the farmhouse during the big fight in “Northampton”).

It really is long past time IDW gave Casey something to fucking DO; to be the badass street fighter he’s supposed to be.  And maybe all this drama will give him back his attitude, which has been sorely missing for I don’t know how long.

TMNT #33 was a pretty solid issue.  Since the meat of the story is a lengthy, emotionally charged conversation about parental neglect, the comic has to take its action sequences where it can find them (a dumb bank robbery at the beginning, Kid and Ferg starting a dumb fight in the bar).  The action sequences, meaningless as they are, do break up the monotony of all the talking talking talking, so I guess they aren’t all that meaningless, after all.  Santolouco’s back and in top form, too, so this is a good-looking comic (to put it mildly).

Grade: B- (as in, “But I’m a little more excited about next issue because of very childish reasons”.)

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TMNT New Animated Adventures #10

April 27, 2014, 8:07 am

≫ Next: Love Bytez

≪ Previous: TMNT (IDW) #33

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Publication date: April 23, 2014

Contents:

*“Love Bytez”

*“Mikey’s Map”

Turtle Tips:

*These stories are continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #9.  The story continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #11.

*This issue was originally published with 2 variant covers: Regular Cover by Brizuela, and Cover RI by James Silvani and Amy Mebberson.

Love Bytez

April 27, 2014, 8:58 am

≫ Next: Mikey's Map

≪ Previous: TMNT New Animated Adventures #10

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 Originally published in: TMNT New Animated Adventures #10

Publication date: April 23, 2014

Story: Derek Fridolfs

Art: Dario Brizuela

Colors: Heather Breckel

Letters: Shawn Lee

Edits: Bobby Curnow

“Love Bytez”

Summary:

It’s Valentine’s Day and Mikey wants to share the love amongst his brothers with some valentines.  Unfortunately, they’re all too busy to notice his handiwork, so Mikey wanders off to the rooftops to be alone.  While watching the happy couples on the streets below, he notices how every time he looks away, they vanish.

The other Turtles respond to Mikey’s call and find him on the roof wearing a tinfoil hat and rubbing himself down in pizza grease.  Mikey suspects the disappearances to be the work of the Kraang, ghosts and Bigfoot working together, so he’s prepared his countermeasures accordingly (the Kraang can’t read his mind through the tinfoil hat, Bigfoot can’t grab him if he’s all greasy and ghosts aren’t scary if you have a group with you).

Investigating, they find a trail of spider webs leading to an abandoned building.  They all come to the conclusion that Spider Bytez is behind the kidnappings and attempt to infiltrate his lair through the skylight.  Spider Bytez anticipates their arrival, bringing down the roof with acid and then trapping them all in webbing.  Spider Bytez explains that he took the couples hostage to lure the Turtles out, but also to get revenge on all the happy people out there who are still human.  As a bonus, he wants to make the Turtles pay for getting him mutated.

Luckily, the pizza grease allows Mikey to slip through the webbing.  He proceeds to “mock” Spider Bytez by showering him with compliments and uses the distraction to slip Leo his bladed nunchakus.  The other Turtles get free and follow Mikey’s lead, irritating Spider Bytez so he spits acid indiscriminately in all directions.  Meanwhile, Mikey helps the (blindfolded) couples out of the building.  All the acid eventually brings the building down and the Turtles escape as Spider Bytez is buried alive.

Down in the lair, the Turtles apologize to Mikey for ignoring his valentines and thank him for saving the day.  As a sign of their appreciation, they have April bring in a heart-shaped pizza.  Splinter likewise thanks Michelangelo for reminding his family to never take for granted the people who care for them, as there are others out there who aren’t so lucky.  On the surface, Spider Bytez stomps around an alleyway in incoherent rage.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #9.  The story continues in “Mikey’s Map”.

*The Turtles last met Spider Bytez in the season 2 episode “Metalhead Rewired”.

Review:

So, Spider Bytez.  Let’s talk about him.  He was one of the earliest mutant villains introduced in the Nickelodeon TMNT series and he was also one of the quickest to be forgotten.  Of his two appearances in the cartoon thus far, he’s been the focus of neither episode and is just sort of this random action figure character who shows up whenever Nick can afford to get Lewis Black in the recording booth.

While I don’t care for his design one bit, I think what really hurts Spider Bytez is that he has no motivation or resources capable of carrying a story.  He was just some overweight TV jockey who accidentally got mutated and now he’s mad at the Turtles (and really, it WAS totally their fault he got dragged into a Kraang mutagen facility).  How do you write stories around a villain like that?  He isn’t smart enough to come up with any inventive schemes, he hasn’t allied himself with the larger villainous forces so far as we know (the Kraang tried to keep him locked up, but he was hardly working for them), and he has nothing driving him to even BE a villain other than “the Frogs made me into a freak”.

There just isn’t a lot to work with and I imagine that plays a large part in why we hardly ever see him.

Newcomer to New Animated Adventures (though he previously did some inking for Mirage, on the story “The Mother of All Anger”), Derek Fridolfs does his level best to centralize a narrative around the TMNT’s most shallow adversary.  I think he does about as well as anyone working with the character can be expected.  Setting it on Valentine’s Day provides an excuse for Spider Bytez to be angrier than usual and to take his bitterness out on random people, and likewise Fridolf works the holiday shenanigans into Mikey’s side of things so it all comes together.  One of those “two sides of the coin” deals; not exactly innovative but it paces out a good story with a lesson to be learned.

Exactly what Spider Bytez planned to DO with those hostages isn’t elaborated upon.  Fridolfs avoids any mention of him eating them, which I actually liked, as it keeps him distinct from the TMNT’s other most shallow adversary: Snakeweed.  Snakeweed’s deal is that he kidnaps people, imprisons them in cocoons and then turns them into fertilizer so he can eat.  Admittedly, a giant spider capturing people so he can eat them makes a little more sense, but again, it keeps Spider Bytez’s gimmick from retreading Snakeweed’s (while also keeping him somewhat sympathetic).

All in all, I don’t think “Love Bytez” was a bad story, I think it just suffered from having to utilize a villain that hasn’t much to offer.  If Spider Bytez is ever to stand a chance of being, you know, GOOD, he’ll probably have to quit being a solo act and join up with some other mutants or something.  Because on his own, he just can’t carry a story.

Grade: C (as in, “Can’t we get an issue with Newtralizer?  That guy was awesome”.)

Mikey's Map

April 27, 2014, 10:59 am

≫ Next: TMNT (1987) Season 5, Part 1 Review

≪ Previous: Love Bytez

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Originally published in: TMNT New Animated Adventures #10

Publication date: April 23, 2014

Story: Landry Q. Walker

Art: Chad Thomas

Colors: Heather Breckel

Letters: Shawn Lee

Edits: Bobby Curnow

“Mikey’s Map”

Summary:

In the Shellraiser, Mikey is acting as navigator, telling Leo to make all sorts of hairpin turns.  Leo wants to know what the emergency is, but Mikey insists there’s no time.

As they careen through the city, the Turtles inadvertently foil a Purple Dragon robbery, bust up a Kraang research operation and spoil Rahzar’s ice cream cone.

Eventually, they arrive at their emergency destination: Gino’s Pizza.  Mikey insists that they needed to make it there before they close, as they’re The Best Pizza in the World (according to the restaurant’s website, anyway).  Sadly, they arrived too late and the joint closes.  The Turtles promptly leaves Mikey behind with only his shredded map and navigation skills to guide him home.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from “Love Bytez”.  The story continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #11.

*Dogpund was double-mutated into Rahzar in the season 2 episode “Mikey Gets Shellacne”.

Review:

Landry Walker, better known for writing the shorter form comedy relief strips over in Panini’s Nickelodeon TMNT magazine for UK markets, makes his debut on IDW’s TMNT New Animated Adventures.  “Mikey’s Map” is very much in the same mold as the UK comedy strips, forgoing logic and dignity in the name of humor.  And as a back-up strip to the main action-adventure story, that’s perfectly fine.

Walker seems to get a kick out of writing for Mikey, as he’s the Turtle most often spotlighted in Walker’s stories.  He has a good handle on Mikey’s characterization, even if it’s the “brainless fuckup” take on the character (but again, these are comedy relief shorts, so that’s to be expected).  Rahzar makes his first appearance in IDW’s comic and it’s not exactly his most ferocious outing.  It makes for a cute visual, though.

There’s no sense over thinking or over critiquing these humor strips; they’re fun for what they are and I’m glad to have them.

Grade: N/A (as in, “Now was that a mint chocolate chip or pistachio cone?  Because if it was the former, I can completely understand Rahzar’s rage.  If it was the latter, then I think the Turtles did him a favor”.)

TMNT (1987) Season 5, Part 1 Review

April 29, 2014, 8:15 am

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≪ Previous: Mikey's Map

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I'm a little late to tie this one in with Easter, but really, the "TMNT's Awesome Easter" two-parter was a greater affront to the memory of Jesus than my forgetting entirely about the holiday could ever be.

As we open season five, we have to deal with that obnoxious fucker Hokum Hare, but after that's over and done with we have some great episodes featuring Lt. Kazuo Saki (the brother of Shredder), Mutagen Man and Mondo Gecko.  Also, the Badd Family, because this show can't keep up a winning streak for very long.

Here's my review of TMNT (1987) Season 5, Part 1 at Adventures in Poor Taste.

Because "Donatello's Badd Time" was the series finale in Japan (I'm so sorry, Japan), that seemed like a good enough point to segue into the two-part anime OVA series.  So I'll be doing those next.

If I survive.

Taking a break for Godzilla

May 1, 2014, 5:45 am

≫ Next: TMNT New Animated Adventures #11

≪ Previous: TMNT (1987) Season 5, Part 1 Review

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As a lead-in to the Godzilla reboot on May 16th, I'll be reviewing my way through all 15 Showa Era Godzilla films plus the Raymond Burr-ized "King of the Monsters" for 16 Days of Godzilla.

It starts today with Godzilla: The Showa Series, Part 1: Godzilla (1954).

As such, my allotted review time for the next two weeks is going to be dedicated to that.  I'm staying ahead with these reviews, so I'll probably be back to covering Turtle comics before then.

If you're a Godzilla fan, maybe check out my reviews and watch the films along with me until the new flick drops.  If not, I'll see you all in a week and a half or so.

TMNT New Animated Adventures #11

May 14, 2014, 4:55 pm

≫ Next: Partners

≪ Previous: Taking a break for Godzilla

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Publication date: May 14, 2014

Contents:

*“Partners”

*“Cooking With Kraang”
*"LEGO TMNT, Part 1"

Turtle Tips

*These stories are continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #10.  The story continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #12.

*This issue was originally published with 2 variant covers: Regular Cover by Brizuela, and Cover RI by Marcelo Ferreira.

Partners

May 14, 2014, 6:08 pm

≫ Next: Cooking With Kraang

≪ Previous: TMNT New Animated Adventures #11

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Originally published in: TMNT New Animated Adventures #11

Publication date: May 14, 2014

Story: Derek Fridolfs

Art: Dario Brizuela

Colors: Heather Breckel

Letters: Shawn Lee

Edits: Bobby Curnow

“Partners”

Summary:

Down in an alley, Michelangelo is reading an issue of Weather Warlock.  While attempting to copy the title character’s signature “Terrible Tornado” attack, he accidentally smashes the head of a Footbot that was sneaking up on him.  Mikey spins out of control into the path of an oncoming truck while the damaged Footbot reboots.  Malfunctioning, the Footbot identifies Mikey as “friend” and saves him from getting run over. 

Imprinting Mikey as his leader, the Footbot proceeds to follow him.  Mikey realizes he can’t take the Footbot home (not after what happened with Leatherhead), so he orders the Footbot to stay in an abandoned water tower.

The next day, Mikey visits the Footbot with a longbox of comics.  He wants the Footbot to be his new sidekick so they can fight crime.  The Footbot scans the comics and understands his orders.  After getting some costumes, Mikey and the Footbot become the superheroes “Captain Karate and Sparky”.  The two gaudily clad do-gooders proceed to fight crime all across the city; their exploits being relayed on TV for the other Turtles to see.

A few nights later, on a rooftop, Captain Karate meets up with the Turtles and reveals his secret identity to them.  Naturally, they figured it out a long time ago.  They’re hesitant about Mikey hanging with a Footbot when suddenly Karai and a unit of properly functioning Footbots attack.  Karai wants to reclaim Sparky, as he’s Foot Clan property.

In the midst of battle, Spark saves the other three Turtles from the evil Footbots.  He sees Karai about to stab Mikey in the back and leaps in front of the blade.  Karai impales him and Sparky goes offline from the damage.  Enraged at the loss of his sidekick and friend, Mikey chases Karai down and knocks her off the rooftop.  Rather than let her fall to her death, he saves her, because that’s what heroes do.  Karai calls him a fool and escapes.

Later, in the lair, Mikey confesses to Master Splinter that he didn’t make much of a hero, having let his own sidekick fall in battle.  Splinter corrects him, saying that through his example, he was able to teach a ruthless killing machine how to be a hero.  Mikey, now more enthusiastic than ever to “lead by example”, attempts to take command of the TMNT’s sparring session.  Instead, Raph just pummels him.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #10.  The story continues in “Cooking With Kraang”.

*The Footbots were first introduced in the season 2 episode “Follow the Leader”.

*Mikey references the time he brought Leatherhead back to the lair in the season 1 episode “It Came From the Depths”.

Review:

Michelangelo’s love of superhero comics is something that’s existed in practically every incarnation of the character.  Michelangelo wanting to be a costumed superhero, though… I think that was something the 4Kids cartoon introduced (unless I’m forgetting one of the billion episodes of the Fred Wolf cartoon, but I think only Donatello took on a costumed crime-fighter persona in that show).  It’s one of his more obnoxious modern traits and the “Turtle Titan” stories were uniformly some of the worst episodes of the 4Kids cartoon.

Fridolfs has a limited amount of space to work with, so the superhero concept spans a whopping 3 pages; the careers of Captain Karate and Sparky consisting of an introduction, a montage and then a televised summary of their exploits.  So in that regard, the superhero-wannabe shtick is actually NOT the focus of this story and doesn’t have the opportunity to get as irritating as any of the “Turtle Titan” shit from the 4Kids show.

The real heart of “Partners” is Michelangelo befriending (and very quickly losing) the malfunctioning Footbot named Sparky.  The truncated length of the story does sort of hurt the authenticity of their friendship, as we kind of gloss over their relationship.  While I was rather glad the whole Captain Karate bit was compressed into a montage, we really don’t get to see much of Mikey and Sparky bonding; their emotional connection is to be taken on face value alone.

While you don’t really “feel it” when Sparky dies, I did appreciate Splinter’s summary of the moral on the final page.  Mikey, in his own way, was able to teach honor to a robot that was programmed to kill.  Admittedly, he did so by damaging the robot and then ordering it to scan a bunch of comic books, but it’s the lesson about setting a good example and swaying even the most seemingly irredeemable foes to the side of good that counts.  This is a kid’s comic, after all.

Grade: C (as in, “Come to think of it, is this the first time we’ve ever seen any of the Nick Turtles with their bandanas off?  Have they ever removed them in the cartoon?”)

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Cooking With Kraang

May 19, 2014, 3:22 pm

≫ Next: TMNT 30th Anniversary Special

≪ Previous: Partners

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Originally published in: TMNT New Animated Adventures #11

Publication date: May 14, 2014

Story: Jackson Lanzing and David Server

Art: Chad Thomas

Colors: Heather Breckel

Letters: Shawn Lee

Edits: Bobby Curnow

“Cooking With Kraang”

Summary:

Filming an instructional video entitled “Mutagen and the Entity Known as You”, a Kraangdroid host illustrates how to create mutants by pouring mutagen onto a carrot-chomping bunny.  The bunny mutates into a horrible carrot-bunny-monster and  trashes the Kraangdroid cameraman.

Suddenly, the Turtles, having followed their mutant tracker, barge onto the set.  Raph takes the host out with a blow to the face while Mikey and Donnie (mostly Donnie) work the control panel for the Dimension X portal.  Once the portal opens, Leo shoves the bunny mutant (whom he calls “Bad Bunny”, but Mikey alternatively calls “Hopzilla”) through the gateway.  Donnie shuts off the portal and the Turtles leave to get some pizza.

Once they’ve gone, the battle-damaged host shambles to his feet and ends the transmission.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from “Partners”.  The story continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #12.

Review:

This back-up is a little longer than the last few New Animated Adventures has done, but used the extra page space wisely.  “Cooking With Kraang” is a fun idea, the whole “instructional video” thing, and actually relates back to a story from Panini’s Nickelodeon TMNT #8.  In that issue, “Dropzone”, the Turtles sneak into a Kraangdroid facility and traverse its weird rooms, one floor at a time.  In one such room, they find a Kraangdroid teaching “proper English” to a classroom full of other Kraangdroids.

I remember loving the gag and wishing that Panini’s TMNT Magazine format allowed for more page space, as I’d liked to have seen that joke fleshed out.  “Cooking With Kraang” is more or less what I asked for, as the Turtles interrupt a Kraangdroid as he dryly instructs other Kraangdroids on the ludicrous method to create mutants.

From an artistic perspective, Chad Thomas provides some light, goofy comedy visuals (like the cutesy-wootsy adorable widdle bunny wabbit with hearts over its head as it noms its carrot).  I think the only place the story falters on is that it begins from the camera perspective, but midway through discards the idea of being “footage” and steps outside that constraint and into the third person.  The last page attempts to go back to being “footage”, but loses the humor for having discarded the gimmick in the middle of the story.  I think the end result would have been stronger if the whole comic had been the recorded video.  If varying angles were an issue, they could have just added “Camera 1/2/3” designations to each panel.

But hey, that’s all I really have to criticize it for.  Actually, I thought this back-up was much more fun than the feature.

Grade: B- (as in, “But that poor bunny got kind of a raw deal”.)

TMNT 30th Anniversary Special

May 22, 2014, 3:10 pm

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≪ Previous: Cooking With Kraang

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Publication date: May 21, 2014

Back cover: Mateus Santolouco

Contents:

*The Beginning (3-page introduction and retrospective)

*Early Mirage (1984 – 1993): “Ready Set Go!”

*TMNT Adventures (1988 – 1995): “Paper or Plastic?”

*Image Comics (1996 – 1999): “Rest in Pieces”

*Later Mirage (2001 – 2010): “Night of the Ninja Girl”

*IDW (2010 – Present): “A Lot to Learn”

*Pin-Up Gallery (9-pages by: Steve Lavigne and Peter Laird, Michael Dooney and Ronda Pattison, Ken Mitchroney and Heather Breckel, Ben Bates, Tristan “T-Rex” Jones, Ross Campbell, Mark Torres, David Peterson, Andy Kuhn and Daniel “Pez” Lopez)

Turtle Tips:

*The Early Mirage story “Ready Set Go!” was originally published in Hero Comics 2012 #1.

*This issue was originally published with 9 variant covers:
**Regular Cover by Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird and Ronda Pattison,
**Cover RI by Eastman, Simon Bisley and Ryan Brown,
**Cover RE IDW Convention Exclusive by Nick Pitarra and Megan Wilson,
**Cover RE Awesome Con Exclusive by Dario Brizuela,
**Cover RE Hot Comics Exclusive by Eastman and Laird,
**Cover RE Hot Topic Exclusive by Chris Allan and Heather Breckel,
**Cover RE Yesteryear Comics Exclusive by Jamie Tyndall and Ula Mos,
**Cover RE Yesteryear Exclusive by Tyndall (black and white version),
**Cover RE Heroes Haven Comics Exclusive by Ozzy Fernandez and Tony Kordos.

Paper or Plastic?

May 23, 2014, 3:43 pm

≫ Next: Rest in Pieces

≪ Previous: TMNT 30th Anniversary Special

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Originally published in: TMNT 30th Anniversary Special

Publication date: May 21, 2014

Written by: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Art by: Chris Allan

Colors by: Heather Breckel

“Paper or Plastic?”

Summary:

Leonardo, Donatello and Michaelangelo are hanging out in Central Park when they come across a spaceship.  Before they can figure out why it looks so familiar, they hear screaming coming from Columbus Circle.  After pushing their way through a frightened crowd (who think they’re aliens), they find the source of the commotion in an upscale grocery store: Bebop and Rocksteady.

In the nude.

The Turtles are ready to fight, but Bebop and Rocksteady have only come back to Earth from their Eden World on a snack run.  The two mutant oafs swear that they offered to work off the cost of snacks by bagging groceries, but the the manager flipped out and hid behind the counter while all the customers broke into a panic.

Suddenly, Raphael and Ninjara arrive late to the scene and tackle Bebop and Rocksteady.  Leo orders Raph to stand down, as he’s found a nonviolent approach to this situation.  Raph defiantly blows him off for being too bossy and he and Ninjara leave to go find some action.  After getting an uncomfortable naked hug from Rocksteady, Leo pays for their groceries with Splinter’s cheese money and sends the two mutants on their way.

As Bebop and Rocksteady blast off in their spaceship, Don wonders if Splinter will be mad that Leo spent all his cheese money.  Leo suspects that their sensei will be understanding of the situation and happy that Bebop and Rocksteady have found a path toward inner peace.

Turtle Tips:

*At best guess, this story likely takes place between TMNT Adventures #40 and the prologue of TMNT Adventures #41.

*Bebop and Rocksteady last appeared in TMNT Adventures #25.

*Raph last wore his all-black wrestling outfit in TMNT Adventures #37.  Why he’s wearing it here… I have no clue.

Review:

Well, this was about as authentic a TMNT Adventures story as you’re ever gonna get.  Clarrain’s (Murphy’s) script almost feels like a satire of itself, as the seven pages are just loaded with every TMNT Adventures-ism on the list: The story opens with an educational dissertation about Central Park followed by some thinly veiled disappointment with metropolitan expansion and its effects on the environment.  Mikey channels Clarrain’s disdain for “authority figures” by randomly threatening to pop open a can of whoop-ass on a security guard.  Then there’s Bebop and Rocksteady, who represent the futility of man to trying to fit in with the natural world (they adore the splendor of their Eden World, but can’t bring themselves to part with corporately manufactured snack foods).  And a last minute finger-wag at both paper AND plastic grocery bags, as they’re BOTH bad for the environment and you should use neither, kids.

The script feels like it stepped right out of 1993, for better or worse, and it’ll be a solid trip down memory lane for all you TMNT Adventures enthusiasts out there.

For those less familiar with the tropes and clichés of Clarrain’s writing, it might not do much for you.  The weird educational non sequitor, the environmental and sociological messages… For those picking up this TMNT 30^thAnniversary Special cold and without much knowledge of the series this story takes place in, those elements might require some context.  Luckily, the introductory blurb does its best to put things in perspective, stressing the educational and environmental angle of the TMNT Adventures series to curb the disorienting effect of the story.

There’s a lack of action which might disappoint some readers, but one of the better qualities of TMNT Adventures was that on occasion it would defy convention by actually circumventing violent resolutions and finding a better way (TMNT Adventures #11 being one of the best examples).  So again, Clarrain is in classic form with this script and it bleeds TMNT Adventures nostalgia from every crack.

And much of that is also thanks to Chris Allan, whom we all love and adore, I’m sure.  His art has lost none of its panache and this particular script highlights his skill at delivering humor over his skill at conveying bombastic action.  The way he carefully hides Bebop and Rocksteady’s junk along with his expressive characters make the pages fun to read even when nobody’s punching anybody (one of the most admirable attributes to TMNT Adventures, back in the day).

Raph and Ninjara make a completely gratuitous cameo spanning a whopping three panels (and Ninjara earns herself exactly one line of dialogue).  I want to say that Raph wearing his fan-wanky wrestling costume was Clarrain’s way of putting a lampshade on the “gratuitousness” of the sequence; a little self-awareness to play along with things.

Overall, “Paper or Plastic?” is a fun trip down memory lane and feels more like a “lost” tale than any other installment in the 30^thAnniversary Special.  If you told me this thing had been completed in 1993 and simply languished in the archives until now, I’d believe it.  While it doesn’t do anything to “advance” the characters (Bebop and Rocksteady going on a shopping run to Earth is something they already did back in the Slash Trilogy, so this isn’t exactly a new territory for them), I can’t think of any reason why it should, either.  If you were expecting some sort of “Forever War” prologue or whatever then you only have yourself to blame.  This was a nostalgic piece more than perfectly befitting a nostalgic tribute special, and while it boasts all the same strengths and shortcomings of its long-gone title, that only makes it an even more authentic experience.

Grade: C+ (as in, “Come to think of it, maybe I should give this story an ‘A’ just because it DIDN’T show me Bebop and Rocksteady’s junk”.)

Rest in Pieces

May 24, 2014, 8:15 am

≫ Next: Night of the Ninja Girl

≪ Previous: Paper or Plastic?

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Originally published in: TMNT 30th Anniversary Special

Publication date: May 21, 2014

Written by: Gary Carlson

Art by: Frank Fosco

Colors by: Courtland Brugger

“Rest in Pieces”

Summary:

Down in the sewer lair, Mike has been languishing in a cast for seven weeks ever since his snowboarding accident with Casey.  On the bright side, it gave him plenty of time to finish his second book.  The Utrom Dr. X removes the cast (with the help of Don’s cyborg saw) and declares Mikey fit as a fiddle.  One-eyed Raph and one-handed Leo beg to differ, and tell Mikey that they’re going to whip him back into shape.

The Turtles go for a training run in the sewer (with Mikey barely keeping up) when they’re ambushed by one of the cyborg assassins Warlord Komodo hired way back when.  Not just any assassin, either, but the one that blasted off Raph’s face with a laser and was subsequently cut to pieces by Leonardo.  The cyborg explains that the living metal of his armor kept him alive in spite of the damage done to his organic body and now he’s stronger than ever.

Leo and Raph figure that for him to be a cyborg, there must be a gooey organic center underneath all the armor and begin hacking away at him.  However, the cyborg’s armor repairs itself faster than they can cut away at it.  Donatello then confronts the cyborg, explaining that he mastered the living metal armor a long time ago.  Donatello then sucks away all the living metal and absorbs it into himself, reducing the cyborg to nothing more than a head.

Or so they think.  Mikey plucks up the head and finds it attached to a raccoon.  The cyborg explains that while his mind was uploaded into the armor, he still needed organic material to function, so he latched onto a raccoon.  Raph pushes Mikey away before the cyborg can blast HIS face off, too, which allows the cyborg raccoon-head to escape downstream.

The Turtles chase after it, fearing what damage the cyborg could do if he latched onto a human host for organic parts.

Turtle Tips:

*There really is no good place between issues where this story could “fit”.  It must take place after TMNT (Vol. 3) #18, as Leo is missing his hand.  However, the narrative from there on is too serialized to allow for the time span seen in this story (Mikey wearing a cast for seven weeks).  It most likely takes place sometime after TMNT (Vol. 3) #23, the end of the series.

*Mikey's first novel, "A Rose Among Thorns", was published in TMNT (Vol. 3) #23.

*The cyborg blasted Raph’s face off in TMNT (Vol. 3) #1.

*The cyborg armor merged with Don in TMNT (Vol. 3) #4.  Don mastered the armor in TMNT (Vol. 3) #15.

Review:

The ‘90s are back and cyborgier than ever.

Although fans had recently gotten their nostalgia fix for the TMNT Volume 3 series a couple years ago thanks to the independently published TMNT (Vol. 3) #24 and TMNT (Vol. 3) #25, this was Carlson and Fosco back for a full story rather than script notes and guest art.  And it’s a fine treat.

Carlson picks a time during the series where the Turtles were all at their most “weird”.  Don’s a cyborg, Raph’s got an eye patch, Leo’s missing a hand and Mikey… is a published author.  Even an Utrom, Dr. X, is just bumming around the lair and playing nursemaid.  It’s a striking way to open the story; Carlson isn’t easing the less experienced fans into the Image universe, but rather he’s chucking them straight into the deep end.

“Rest in Pieces” doesn’t really pick up a “plot thread” from the first issue of the run, as that cyborg was pretty unquestionably dead in that issue.  Rather, it’s more a callback to that first issue by bringing him back for another round.  Carlson doesn’t play the cyborg up as any greater threat than he ever was (he’s still an idiot who thinks his armor is “magic”) and the Turtles cut him down to size with relative ease.  This is a short segment, after all.  It’s a fun romp in an old playground.

And of course you’ve got Fosco back on art and its wonderful stuff.  Fosco’s stuff looks terrific in color, which has been rare in regards to his TMNT work.  Brugger colorized his short strip TMNT vs. Spawn and also colorized his covers to TMNT (Vol. 3) #24 and #25, and he has a really tight synergy with Fosco’s pencils and inks.  “Rest in Pieces” is probably the most eye-popping of all the chapters in the 30^th Anniversary Special, thanks to the bizarre character redesigns, the focus on action and Brugger’s glowing colors.

Most of the stories in this Anniversary Special are smaller tales in terms of both length and scale; obviously they aren’t going to have too much of a narrative impact on their respective universes.  They’re just fun, nostalgic reminders of the older TMNT books you probably read decades ago.  In that vein, “Rest in Pieces” hits all the marks.

Grade: A (as in, “And it deserves extra credit for including Klunk”.)

Night of the Ninja Girl

May 25, 2014, 7:13 am

≫ Next: A Lot to Learn

≪ Previous: Rest in Pieces

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Originally published in: TMNT 30th Anniversary Special

Publication date: May 21, 2014

Story and art by: Jim Lawson

Colors by: Steve Lavigne

“Night of the Ninja Girl”

Summary:

On a rooftop after dark, the Turtles are discussing their legacy.  Leo wonders if what they’ve spent their lives doing has any purpose, if they’ll be remembered for it, but Don warns him not to place too much value on what others think.

Suddenly, a flurry of shuriken narrowly misses them and a female ninja garbed in an all-black body suit and mask appears.  Leo suspects she wants to challenge them.  Don decides to go first and quickly gets a light kick to the nose from the girl.  Raph tells him to tap out and attacks.  The ninja girl uses her cape to blind Raph, trips him, flips him over and steals his sai.  Impressed, Raph yields.  Mikey jumps in, but the ninja girl uses a smoke bomb to disappear.  Reappearing on a ledge above him, she lightly bonks him on the head.

Leo tells the ninja girl that they’re impressed.  Particularly, they’re impressed that her time in college didn’t dull her edge.  The ninja girl pulls off her mask and reveals herself as Shadow Jones and says that she wanted to show them that she’d been keeping in practice while away.  Leo gives her a hug and welcomes her home while Raph assures her that he and his brothers were going easy on her.

Turtle Tips:

*As Shadow has just finished college, this story must take place sometime in the future era of the Mirage universe.  Not too distant in the future, obviously, but it can’t take place concurrently with TMNT Volume 4.

Review:

The lesson in “Night of the Ninja Girl” is sort of a thematic callback to “Sons of the Silent Age”, albeit on a very different level.  In that older tale, Raphael was the one pondering what he and his brothers will leave behind after they’re gone, considering they can never have offspring and that their ninja nature means they have to live forever in secrecy.  Leonardo sort of refreshes that sentiment with this story, occurring much further down their timeline, as he wonders who will remember them after they’ve gone and if any of their adventures were even worth it, as they won’t leave a ripple in history.

Obviously, Shadow turns out to be the answer he’d been overlooking.  They taught her their various martial arts and skills, and she’s been keeping that knowledge alive even when away and all by herself at college.  While they can’t have kids of their own and their adventures can never be recorded, the Turtles CAN pass down their knowledge to others who’ll in turn pass it on and so forth.  Hence, they WILL leave a legacy behind.

If “Sons of the Silent Age” was a more cynical take on the message, “Night of the Ninja Girl” tries to steer it around into something a bit more hopeful.  I think it has a little extra impact, as Leo’s pontifications come as he finds himself in middle age and the thoughts of mortality and what you’ll leave behind transcend brief musings and become something very serious.  When taken by itself, “Night of the Ninja Girl” might be a forgettable short, but when looked at in the overall tapestry of the Mirage universe, it serves a valuable purpose.

And in regards to the “overall tapestry of the Mirage universe”, the story also has an unfortunate dark side to it.  The story “Dark Shadows” shows us Shadow’s inevitable future and it’s not pretty.  In particular, the legacy the Turtles have chosen to leave behind through her will wind up causing her nothing but pain.  The epilogue of that issue explains in plain language that if the Turtles teach her their martial arts knowledge, it will be the catalyst that sends her down the path of self destruction as seen in the main story of that issue.  The alternative, not teaching her what they know, will leave her unprepared to defend herself from a future attack and she’ll die at a young age.  A Catch 22, and one better discussed in my review of that issue.

But for this story, you see the Turtles happy and proud that their legacy will live on through Shadow.  However, it’s that legacy which will ultimately destroy her and strain the relationships of all four Turtles.

So I guess this story IS pretty cynical and depressing when you think about it.

Grade: B (as in, “But Steve Lavigne’s colors really look good when they’re applied to a story intended to be colored by Steve Lavigne”.)